I have an unnatural fear of sharks. My theory is that I was exposed to the movie “Jaws” too young. As a result of this, I cannot watch any portion of a movie that takes place underwater, even if it is just a bass fishing program. Also related to this fear is the fact that I cannot swim. Not one doggie paddle, not one stroke. I can float, amazingly enough, but this does not serve to take me anywhere except where the current leads me. I would starve to death (or be eaten by a shark) before I would drown.
I bought my first car by selling cornshuck doll bookmarks I made myself. (Admittedly, the car was a clunker but it was MY clunker.) I learned to make these unusual creations from my mom. You basically take the papery stuff that is wrapped around the ear of corn, dye them with fabric dye, do some magical knot-tying and viola, a cute bookmark dolly to hold your place in that novel you’re reading.
I refuse to wear shorts or show my bare legs in public because of the unnatural pale color of my skin. People don’t realize this until they think about it and then they always say “Ya know, that’s right, I’ve never seen you in shorts or a skirt without tights…” Invariably after a few summers spent sweltering in pants I will decide to be brave and venture out in bare legged splendor and invariably someone will always comment about how pale I am and that I either need to get out in the sun more often or that I need to stay out of the sun lest I burn. This always hurts my feelings and I scurry back to the safety of covered gams. I know this is ridiculous but I can’t help it.
In sixth grade I wore my hair in a ponytail every day. It had to be placed exactly in the middle of my head or I would not go to school. I spent at least 20 minutes every morning putting my long mousey-brown hair in a ponytail and redoing it over and over again to get it perfectly placed. I am not proud of this.
It is physically impossible for me to watch horror movies. I cannot do it. My hands involuntarily cover my eyes at the gory/scary/suspenseful parts and my heart races during the entire movie. I have run out of many movie theaters because my nerves just could not take the anxiety of waiting on the killer to strike. As for that blasted music that is supposed to build the suspense, well that only serves to bring me closer and closer to having a heart attack.
Among many other things, I secretly (well, no longer) aspire to run a marathon in the next few years. I realize that the pathetic 5K times I have accomplished thus far in my running career will have to be much improved upon before I reach the lofty goal of marathon runner but I admire these athletes so much and want to join their ranks. So watch for me plodding along on a track near you.