Archive | 2:16 am

i just wanna hoot ‘n holler, is that too much to ask?

11 Feb

I’m in a funk so this will not be the most uplifting blog post you’ve read all day.  Why am I in a funk?  Here are some reasons:

Because I need to learn either time management skills or I need to drop some obligations.  Let’s see, what obligations can I diss?  It has to be one or more of the following – work, school, Bean, husband, dog or household – that about covers it.  Of those six, Bean is here to stay, as is hubs and dog.  Household…I don’t really do much on that one anyway when it comes to housework, cooking or other domestic duties so perhaps that one shouldn’t have been on the list in the first place.  However, work and school are definitely negotiable.  But since I’ve already paid mega bucks for school I suppose that one has to be dealt with. 

So that leaves work.  Yes, I’ve solved my problems!  I will go into the office tomorrow and pull a David Allan Coe or Johnny Paycheck, whoever it was, and tell The Man to “Take This Job and Shove It”.  That, my friends, would be a glorious day in the life of Finn. 

I don’t usually write about work but this has to be said.  Over the past, oh, few years, I’ve become a master of apathy in the workplace.  I should win an Oscar for this shizzle I got going on yo.  I go in most days acting like Miss Mary Sunshine, sitting at my computer plugging in numbers, running queries, doing the data data data thing all day and no one, except my poor chosen friends who I feel comfortable enough telling my true feelings to, are the wiser.  People, I am telling you that I could walk out of that place in a quarter second, never look back and never regret it.  Not for one iota of an instant. 

Not caring about what you do for eight hours a day, five days a week is not a very happy place to be.  I don’t loathe it, most days anyway.  I just don’t give a white rat’s booty about it one way or the other.  The Man could come in tomorrow and tell us our department is no longer needed and I would hoot ‘n holler like He’d just given me a $5000 raise.  Then I would get in my Elephant, turn the radio up to that “Apple Bottom Jeans” song by Flo Rida and beebop my ever expanding hiney down the interstate to Sonic for a slushe and tip the carhop at least $20. 

From all this you can probably gather that I failed miserably in my completion of weekend tasks.  Yes, I know, sitting on my tail with the laptop is not helping get my reading done or that dratted room cleaned out.  But you should know that I have been immersed in the fascinating world of Deconstruction and Literary Criticism for hours all weekend and am still not done!  It is a hopeless endeavor I tell you.  I turn the page and there are 50 more pages after the one I just finished, just taunting me with the fact that they need to be waded through as well and why is it taking you so long to read that one paragraph?  It should be a simple matter to comprehend what sentences like “The text provokes certain expectations which in turn we project onto the text in such a way that we reduce the polysemantic possibilities to a single interpretation in keeping with the expectations aroused, thus extracting an individual, configurative meaning” are getting at, you moron.  But I asked for this, right?  So I shouldn’t complain.  And I think, in smaller doses, I might could get into it a bit better but dang, after 100 or so pages of sentences like that, I am just tired of reading the same thing over and over at least ten times to finally feel comfortable with it.  And then there are those next 50 pages staring at me with more of the same. 

I guess I am afraid I will become apathetic to this new thing I’m attempting too.  I mean, how many different things, new things, can I try and not like?  Try and fail at.  And I’m not failing at this mind you, but I’m not hootin’ ‘n hollerin’ about it and beebopping to Sonic over it either.  And that’s all I want, something that will make me hoot n’ holler and tip carhops $20 because I’m so excited about what I’m doing.  I haven’t found that yet and it’s weighing me down. 

That’s it, I’m going to buy a lottery ticket right now.

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