Archive | May, 2008

brainstew (or should it be brainspew?)

28 May

This morning on the way out of my neighborhood I spotted a tiny box turtle in the road.  I stopped the car, got out, picked up the lil’ guy and put him safety on the other side of the road in the direction he was facing.  I wish someone would do that for me sometimes. 

The most awkward show on television?  The Moment of Truth.  I’m sitting in front of the tv squirming just as much as the family and friends on the show watching their family member knowingly humiliate themselves.  I mean, these people know what questions are likely to pop up and they sit there anyway looking like scum while everyone else just looks embarrassed to be there.  I don’t get it, but I’m watching it anyway like the proverbial train wreck.  Speaking of awkward, this polygamy show on CBS is bugging me.  It pisses me off.  And creeps me out.   

I tried to walk through the neighborhood tonight with The Accountant.  I didn’t make it too far before my belly started feeling really funny – tightening and just weird so I turned around and came home.  I mean, I can barely roll myself out of bed, what makes me think I can trek through the streets like back in da day?  Yes I know, I should have been doing better with the exercising thing this whole time but it didn’t happen.

I was thinking about going back to work after Samantha is born.  There’s all these arguments for and against stay-at-home moms and career moms.  Discussions get heated and I can understand why.  I’ve heard people say “I didn’t have kids for someone else to raise them”.  Point taken.  Or “day care is good for developing social skills”.  Point also taken.  I know which side of the fence I want to be on but I also know which side I’ll actually land on. Trust me, they’re opposites.  It popped in my head today that putting Sam in day care is going to feel like some sort of cell phone plan – “GET FREE MINUTES WITH YOUR KID ON NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS!!!  Only $800/month!!!”  Woohoo.  Should I be excited about that?  Um, no. 

Today someone asked me what I really wanted to “do” after I told them that what I was currently doing (career-wise) was not what I wanted to do.  It frustrates me that I cannot for the life of me answer that question.  I can tell you all day long, upside down, backwards and forwards what it is that I do NOT want to do but I can’t definitively say what it is that I want to do.  Do do do do….how many times can I use that word?  This post is Doo Doo.  **snicker**  But anywho.  Here’s what I want to do….travel the world.  There we have it.  Easy peasy.  Wanna come?

It cost me nearly $50 to put gas in The Elephant the other day.  I thought I was going to go into labor right there at the Exxon station.  I wonder if they’d give me free gas for life if I did?

blogging at 3:57 am

26 May

As the title says, it’s a couple minutes shy of 4:00 am.  There is no work for me tomorrow so I should really be in the midst of a delicious dream right about now, perhaps involving some sort of tropical island, grand adventure or some such.  But the concept of a good night’s sleep has eluded me for oh, the last 5 months and I’m not sure I’ll ever find it again.  If I’m not up peeing, I’m struggling to turn over in bed, sitting indian style and leaning forward as far as possible, (which isn’t far these days mind you) trying to stretch out my aching hip joints, or have woken myself up with the weird reflux noises coming from the depths of my esophagus.  It’s grand I tell you.  I don’t mean to complain but….oh screw it….I am complaining, so sue me.  Whoever came up with that saying that every pregnant woman hears time and time again, “sleep while you can” is full of doo doo.  They should tell that to every woman BEFORE she gets knocked up because afterwards it’s much too late. 

So here I am, spewing forth groggily formed delirious thoughts at what is now 4:06 am.  And here’s what I got.  The other day I was in my “thinking box” – otherwise known as either the shower or my beloved vehicle, the Elephant.  In this case it was the shower.  And I was thinking, wouldn’t it be cool if some smart inventive and half crazy person could create a personality transplant?  It had been an abnormally weird week and I had the perfect candidate for my new medical/psychological procedure.  I’ve learned over the past several years that some people are just born with a natural tendency to be completely selfish and inconsiderate of others.  The ones who realize they are this way are the easier type to deal with as I imagine you could just treat them the same way they treat others and go on about one’s business realizing that the fact that you called them a selfish turd to their face was well deserved and you wouldn’t loose much sleep over it.  But the other type, well, that’s a different bird altogether.  This kind actually have no clue that they are acting inappropriately and are causing others stress, grief or other unpleasantness.  They are just born that way and spew their negative energy without even realzing it and when they get in a “mood” they always, without fail, spread their stress inducing venom to anyone they come in contact with.  And that’s the frustrating thing, they don’t mean it as a personal attack but it feels that way to the recepient of the freak-out-madness.  What’s a person to do with someone like that?  You can’t tell them off because you are sure to damage the relationship beyond repair and there are some situations where you just cannot afford for that to happen.  Because the type of person I’m talking about is very sensitive and has no concept that they are causing you grief on a regular basis.  That is just the way they are, born that way, with no understanding of how their actions effect others around them.  They are caught up in their own personal life bubbles with no thought of yours. The only thing I know to do and what I have been doing for years is to simply sit back and take it.  I’ve learned to recognize “the mood” and avoid the person as much as possible which is quite difficult given my situation.  It’s getting harder and harder to do as time goes on but it seems there is no other option.  And I must say that my tongue is getting quite sore from biting it all the time.

It’s now 4:22am and as I can see from rereading this that I’ve solved none of the world’s problems and have probably convinced anyone reading this that I’m a total nutjob with issues of my own that go much deeper than sleep deprivation, I am taking my aching hips and my cat back to bed.  Good morning.

bean update

23 May

I’m sitting here watching my belly move.  It is the weirdest, most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.  I’m hoping there’s a human baby in there instead of an alien but right now my money is on alien.  It’s just too bizarre.  And you know what else is bizarre?  The fact that my belly button is now off center by about 1/2 inch.  I tell the truth.  Pregnancy is such an odd thing. 

So…..we have a name picked out for Baby Girl Bean….unless something drastically changes (like baby girl bean comes out as a baby BOY bean), her name is going to be “Samantha Elizabeth”.  There’s no deep meaningful reason for the name, we just like it.  And we’re not really into the so-called “trendy” names.  As we have a very short last name, the long first and middle name works.  And did you catch the Bewitched connection?  We didn’t do that on purpose but it’s kind of interesting.  In case you’re having a slow brain day, Elizabeth Montgomery played the witch, Samantha on Bewitched during the late 60s/early 70s.  Perhaps fodder for cocktail party conversation in Samantha’s future.  Or not. 

So far I’ve been really lucky with this pregnancy.  I didn’t have hardly any morning sickness and am just enduring the regular uncomfortableness of needing help getting off the couch, I have quite the attractive waddle now rather than a walk and the various body changes that I will avoid discussing here (aren’t you glad?).  The only blip in my boring medical journey as a pregnant woman was that I “failed” the first glucose test and I had to go back and take the three hour one to see if I had gestational diabetes.  For the first test they give you a small cup of an orange flavored drink that you have to down quickly.  It tastes like a Sunkist but with five times the sugar.  I didn’t think it was too horrible.  After you drink it then you have to get your blood drawn and they do some magical medical thing to see how your body processes glucose.  Or something like that.  Here’s more information about how it works.  My such-and-such level came back elevated so I had to go back in and take the three hour test.  This involved a blood draw as soon as I got to the doctor’s office, then drinking a much larger amount of the orange drink and then three more blood draws, each one hour apart.  Not fun I tell you.  Especially when you have a phobia of needles like me.  I came away with two holes in each arm and a pretty bruise on one of them.  But it got me out of work for half a day and I made great progress on the book I was reading.  Luckily everything came back normal on that test so I don’t have gestational diabetes and I won’t have to go on a special diet or prick my finger a zillion times a day to check my sugar levels.  First thing I did after I found that out?  I ate a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, or three.  

We’ve taken a couple of classes at the hospital for parents-to-be, one on newborn care and another on breastfeeding.  The last class will be next month and it’s the childbirth one.  Yikes.  I think the newborn care class gave me more anxiety than I had before I went because there was so much information and things to remember and learn that it was a bit overwhelming.  But I guess you figure these things out as you go right?  I’ve never changed a diaper before and have never even held a newborn baby so I’m kind of freaking out about the basic stuff that I feel like I’m not going to be prepared for.  We practiced on dolls but really, I doubt that compares to a squirmy, screaming, stinky baby.  The breastfeeding class was great and I feel much better about being prepared for attempting that aspect of child care.  I dunno, we’ll see how it goes.  I can’t screw the kid up too badly can I? 

It’s way past my bedtime so I’m gonna hit the hay.  Tomorrow is our baby shower at my work so that should be a fun time.  You can’t go wrong with cake, cute baby stuff, and the promise of a three day weekend!  ‘Night.

note to self

22 May

Do NOT look at the Victoria’s Secret catalog when your belly looks like this…

And the VS model’s bellies look like…well, you know…NOT like this…

Those are VS pajama bottoms I have on by the way, but somehow the effect isn’t the same…

Baltimore recap

19 May

I believe I mentioned a few posts ago that I was heading for Baltimore, MD for a work thing.  I’ve been back for a couple of weeks now but I thought I’d recap and share some poor quality cell phone pictures. 

This trip involved a conference that I attend every year but this year they actually asked my boss and I to speak at one of the break-out sessions.  Believe it or not, I’ve got everyone fooled at my job that I actually know what I’m doing and can speak about it at a national conference.  What a shister I am right?  It’s a learned skill yo. 

Flying while pregnant is NOT fun and I hope never to have to do it again.  My bladder lately has developed a mind of it’s own and when it’s gotta go, well, it’s gotta go.  So I strategically placed myself at the very back of the plane as close to the lavatory as possible.  And given this was Southwest, this was not an easy feat but I got lucky both flights and managed a seat in the back row each time.  Go me.  While my seating position was helpful, nothing but my mad contortionist skills could help me manuever my protruding belly in that 2 x 2 lavatory when I actually had to use it.  It was not pretty but I managed.  I felt a bit nauseous a couple of times but thankfully, didn’t have to use the barf bags.  A really weird thing happened on the descent into B’more though…I got this weird pain above my left eye like I had a bruise there or something and then it felt like there was hot burning liquid inside my head and it burned all the way down the side of my face.  I honestly thought I was going to have to use the line “is there a doctor on the plane?” but it finally subsided and I ended up with a headache for a couple of hours afterwards.  It was really painful and scary but it didn’t happen again on the way home thank goodness.

The conference overall was really good and our speaking engagement went very well. We got it over with the first day.  Woohoo! 

Baltimore is not exactly on my list of vacation destinations given it’s reputation as a high crime city, but we stayed in a nice enough area I guess.  Here’s some pictures of our “night on the town” on the Inner Harbor.

 

Harbor Place was within walking distance of our hotel and it reminded me a bit of Navy Pier in Chicago only not quite as cool.  There were lots of joggers and people walking dogs.  The weather was perfect and it was a relaxing evening but I was pretty beat after all the walking. 

All the touristy shops had a crab theme and of course, we had to eat seafood.  We went to M&S Grill and chowed down.  I’m not a shrimp person (the gristly texture totally grosses me out) or all that big on crustaceans in general so I went with the standard fish and chips, but my traveling companion had the crab soup and shrimp cocktail. 

It was a nice enough trip and we couldn’t have asked for better weather the entire time.  But as always, it was great to get home.  This was definitely my last long trip (by plane or car), until after Bean gets here. 

from n’awlins to me

17 May

So my friend Scout went to New Orleans a few weeks ago and check out what I got in the mail from the home of the Saints and Jazz Fest….

Aren’t the shrimp beads the best?

still around

17 May

Wow, this blog has really gone into the crapper hasn’t it?  I have been on Wordpress in so long that I nearly forgot my password.  A lot has been going on so I do have lots of things to talk about.  Right now I’m sending myself some fuzzy cell phone pictures of my trip to Baltimore from a couple of weeks ago and will post any decent ones here.  And of course, there’s a Bean update and a school update and who knows what else.  I wanted to stop by and say that I am still around, just been extrememly busy and out of touch with internet land lately.  But I’ll be back soon!

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