grumble grumble

I’m bummed tonight.  By the time I got home from work, Sam was already in her crib asleep.  I kept thinking she’d wake up any minute but it’s almost 9:30 pm and she’s still sleeping.  It’s all I can do not to go in her room and “accidentally” cough really loud so she’ll wake up and I can be with her. 

I’m really trying not to complain about having to work, especially when there are people out there who are hurting financially but dang if I can help it.  The state of the economy can bite my big butt.  People told me this would get easier.  That it would get easier to leave my baby at day care, easier to go to work every day.  Liars.  So far it’s only getting worse for me mentally.  I dilly dally around the house some days and once I get to day care I’m in no hurry to hand Sam over to the caregivers.  I’m resentful at having to sit at my desk and crank out spreadsheet after ever-lovin’ spreadsheet.  I’m mad that my kid is spending her days with people I barely know while I stare at a computer screen all freaking day to pay for insurance.  I’m angry and apathetic at the same time.

Bleh.  The more I type this, the madder I’m getting so I’m going to stop before I say all three of the cuss words I know.  Heh.

Before I sign off, I should mention the lovely weekend we had watching the Titans!  Grandma T came over to watch the game with us.  Although we know the reason she really came over wasn’t to see us, it was to play with Sam.  🙂  She brought baby girl the cutest Titans onesies, some clothes, books and a beautiful sweater that her mom made for Sam.  Oh, and some yummy pumpkin bread!  Check out the cute pictures she took.  This is “Happy Sam” and “Sad Sam”, both taken within one minute of each other.  I think she’s gonna be like her momma, smiling one minute and crying the next.  Poor thing.


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