looking forward and back

I love quotes. And this one by Bill Vaughan made me laugh.

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

Is it a pessimistic quality to love cynicism like that? Ah well, I count it as part of my charm. And here’s another one, because I also love Jay Leno.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

As usual, our New Year’s Eve was quite tame and uneventful. I didn’t even ring in the new year with Ryan Seacrest. I think I was in bed by 10. So sad. Some day I’m going to get myself all snazzied up in a sexy black dress and stilettos and go to a fancy party with hors d’oeuvres, party hats, confetti, champagne and midnight smooches.

I feel like I am obligated by some unknown force to write a post that will enlighten, reflect and inspire regarding the old and new year. But I’m really not sure I have anything all that worthy to say that would mean anything to anybody but me. But since this is my blog, well, its my place to contemplate on the screen for you to read if you wish.

2008 was a year of “growth” for me. And I mean that mentally and physically! I spent a little over half of 2008 pregnant for the first time. Late summer and fall were spent in new baby mode and I stumbled around the house bleary eyed, teary eyed and more insane than is my usual. I dealt with things I had never encountered before – the pain of breastfeeding, sleepless nights, postpartum depression, massive responsibility for a tiny person completely dependent on us for survival and love.  But I also experienced that sweet new baby smell (minus the poop), watching innocent sleep and seeing my daughter smile at me for the first time which of course turned me to a ball of mushy gushy goo. I finally hit my stride during the last couple of months of ’08 and am finally enjoying being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Sam from the start but I think the changes that come along with having a baby were a huge shock to my system and I struggled to make the necessary adjustments.

Regarding New Year’s resolutions…One of my favorite things is a fresh blank journal. Cracking the binding opens up untainted pages waiting for me to fill them with new doodles, brooding rants, bad poetry, and ruminations meant for my eyes only. (And I do not keep my journal in my sock drawer so don’t bother looking for it there). I guess its the same with a new year; the perfect opportunity for a mental fresh start although I think it wise to remember that every day, every moment, offers us an opportunity to make changes for the better. This year, I’m opting to keep my resolutions to myself. I will make them but I don’t plan on sharing them with anyone. That way, if I happen to fail, no one will know it but me. Smart right? I’m crafty like that. To be vague, I mostly want to be more true to myself, if that makes any sense. It does to me. I want to focus on some career adjustments, educational goals and some personal things I’d like to work through.

I look forward to this year and hope we all have a wonderful 2009. Thanks for reading my ramblings and enduring all the baby pictures. You all deserve a medal.

And because I am addicted to The Quotations Page, here’s one for the road…

Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.  – Douglas Pagels 

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