It’s official. I now have a fully advanced case of the “Momdar”.
Last night/morning it was The Accountant’s turn to have baby duty. In other words, if she woke up crying it was his job to get up and change her diaper, feed her, console, sing, do the hokey pokey, whatever she needed so that I could stay in bed.
Here’s the scene:
4:45 am. I am in a dead sleep. Sam cries. My eyes pop open and I access the cry-type in 1.2 seconds. Is this her “I’m not really awake, just making noises in my sleep and I will stop in a minute” cry, or is it her “I am really awake and I need/want something cry and I will not go back to sleep until you give it to me” cry? I determine that it is the second type and I go into autopilot mommy mode and jump out of bed like a jack-in-the-box. Because that’s what I do these days. I have a bottle made faster than you can blink and am in her room like Flash Gordon, armed and with my supermom cape on, ready to defeat the Dirty Diaper Demons and Hungry Baby Bullies. My sidekick Hubs is looking at me like I’m crazy and tells me (while he is changing her diaper, thank you very much) that there is no way that she has been crying for more than 3 seconds and that I am a madwoman. I tell him that I know this, I have developed radar-like bat ears for Sam’s various noises and that’s just the way it is now.
I have morphed. I am no longer human. I think this is terminal isn’t it?