Archive | 2:50 pm

not exactly rockin’ it out

4 Mar

I came home early today as I felt like utter crap on a biscuit. I have another cold/sinus/epezooty/something or other thing. Not that I mind leaving work early as you all should know by now. I love the silence of my house when there’s no one here but me and the pets. One day I swear I am going to indulge my little hotel-weekend-alone fantasy. You know the one. Where I make reservations at a nice hotel for a long weekend and go there by myself with a trashy novel, my journal and some chocolate. All I do is order room service, read, watch tv, and sleep. Nothing sleeps better than a luxury hotel bed and black out curtains. Nothing.

I haven’t been to the gym in about a week. Haven’t exactly been in the mode. But I haven’t been eating much either so maybe I’ll get lucky and break even on the weight thing this week. I hate that I even worry about that stuff but I do. I don’t like not liking myself, physically. So there we go. The plan is to hit the gym hard this weekend and get back on track.

I’m kind of itching to go home. As in, my parent’s place. Get outta this town, this part of the state for a day or two. And indulge the grandparents with a visit from Samantha-Pants. I think I’m going to make that happen either this weekend or next.

The goal is to have the house on the market by the 15th. So I have a bit more time to convince The Accountant that we should move elsewhere, as in, out of state. But I know that’s not happening because dangit if reality and life don’t hinder my plans every time. I don’t know where I get this wanderlust from as I don’t think either of my parents have an ounce of it. I might be adopted. Which would explain a lot of things come to think of it.

That’s it from here for now. Peace.

dear diary, you crack me up

4 Mar

Heh. Sometimes I’ll go back and read through old entries in my journal. Various reactions follow including mass amounts of cringing, eye rolling, “good grief”s, face reddening, scrunching up of the nose or squinting of the eyes, and sometimes a smile or smirk.

Here are some of the more tame, short exerpts from my journal, minus the context, that made me do one or more of those things.

  • wow, I’m a dork. the end.
  • Mondays suck. They suck big fat rounded objects that taste bad.
  • She glared at everything from behind Nine West eyeglasses and freshly razored bangs.
  • And Newscoma was there! So awesome to meet her as I read her blog all the time!
  • I need to Google.
  • This is not a yip or a woof, this is a country-coon-dog-deep-guttural-passionate-my-life-is-over yowl. Moaning as if her life will surely end if she does not tree that squirrel immediately.
  • As the figuring out my life thing was not going so well, I did the next best thing and went to help mom hang wallpaper. Yes I know I am teetering on the brink of insanity.
  • Bastards. Positive, positive, be positive.
  • I’m pregnant!!!! Holy Sh!t!!!
  • I’m not pregnant…started bleeding…
  • I love him. I just do.
  • Don’t feel so trapped. Having options gives you power.

So many more gems I could include but these were the ones I noticed at a quick glance through.  

Observations: It seems I curse a lot when I write in my journal. Sorry mom, I just do. And whine a lot. And am brutally honest. And am raw. And am just…me.

Peace.

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