Archive | 10:17 am

weird things that stick in my brain

23 Mar

I have been trying to find this poem for AGES!! I remember it from a college lit class and it stuck in my head all these years, popping up every now and then for whatever reason. But all I could remember was that it was about a cleaning lady finding a frog in the toilet. I remember thinking it was funny and that I liked it very much.

Enter the magic of Google…I’ve searched for it before but no luck. However, today the words “frog in toilet” were typed just right and here is the missing poem!

Enjoy. Or just wrinkle your nose in bewilderment. Whichever.

Hazel Tells Laverne
by Katharyn Howd Machan

last night
im cleanin out my
howard johnsons ladies room
when all of a sudden
up pops this frog
musta come from the sewer
swimmin aroun an tryin ta
climb up the sida the bowl
so i goes ta flushm down
but sohelpmegod he starts talkin
bout a golden ball
an how i can be a princess
me a princess
well my mouth drops
all the way to the floor
an he says
kiss me just kiss me
once on the nose
well i screams
ya little green pervert
an i hitsm with my mop
an has ta flush
the toilet down three times
me
a princess

why the long face?

23 Mar

This is me. Spreading sunshine everywhere I go. Yep yep. I mean, can’t you tell? Heh.

The not-so-funny thing is, I really am a fun lively laughing joking person when I’m out from behind a desk. Can we say “you got off at the wrong stop lady”? Yes we can.

Eh, anyway. Stuff ‘n things. Ummmmmm, I got nuthin’ I guess. Oh wait, here’s some stuff…the weather is great today. I restocked my supply of chewing gum. I’m wearing my Chucks. Sam made me laugh this morning (until she freaked out when I dropped her off at daycare). I have $5 to spend for lunch. Today is my Wednesday. Neil Young is coming to the Ryman (if you’re into Neil, this is good news anyway). I go see Garrison Keillor/Prairie Home Companion with my dad in a few weeks. My best friend and The Accountant’s birthdays are coming up the first week of April. Some lady in an SUV nearly ran me over this morning trying to cut over onto Music Row. I honked at her and might have saluted her as well. Might have.

End of stuff. Have a nice day.

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