For the first time in several days, I met my supafly workout buddy and we went to the gym this morning. My workout was “meh” at best but at least I was there. I think we might try to switch some things up because I for one, am kind of loosing my gym-mojo. Maybe late evening work outs instead of butt-crack-of-dawn ones? Shall I don my Flashdance sweatshirt and leotard? Start talking like Rocky Balboa? I dunno, something. Anyway, all that to say, I’m about to do a gold medal winning face plant onto my keyboard today.
I catch myself expulsing (is that a word?) massive heavy very loud exasperating sighs at frequent intervals throughout the too long day. I don’t notice I’m doing it until mid-sigh and then its too late. And I really don’t care anyway. The first one usually occurs when I walk in the door. Putrid yellow walls and sickly teal trim greet me. There seems to be less oxygen in here than elsewhere. The atmosphere sucks all the life, creativity, motivation, and all things lively and perky completely out of my body. Its like a huge black hole that I flail around inside of for 8 hours until I claw my way out at 5:00 and crawl out the door, mentally exhausted from fighting extreme boredom and apathy all day long. There are a zillion quizzes and checklists you can take to see if you’re burned out and in need of a change, career-wise and other-wise. The problem is that there doesn’t seem to be a clear cut solution if you are indeed without a doubt, burned out and in need of a change. The follow through is lacking. What to do, what to do? I keep saying something is going to break and yet, I’m still sitting here. Biding my time. For what? I have no idea. Something better to come along. For me to figure out what I want to do with my life. To win the effing lottery. Something.
Sunshine and rainbows to you. Peace.
Updated to correct my spelling of “biding”. I mean, I could say I’m “bidding my time”, like at an auction or something…wonder how much I could get for it though?