i want to beat something with my crutches

I’m a mess, angry and dejected. Ever since hearing this afternoon that I have a stress fracture in my cuboid bone I’ve alternated between severe pissivity and extreme doldrums. Both involve mass amounts of tears.

I can’t tell you how excited I was to sign up for my first half marathon this April and how pumped I was to have been running consistently for the past nine months and improving distance and pace. For the record, I hadn’t even worked up to running over 5 miles at a time and my pace was averaging about 11:30 so I don’t feel that I went out “too hard and too fast” or over trained. If you say anything of that nature to me I will punch you in the face. Both of my fists are still in working order.

Regardless of any progress I’ve made thus far, I’m now staring at the crutches leaning up against the wall and will have no need anytime soon for a regular shoe on my right foot since it is encased in an aircast for the duration. I’m upset about the half marathon that I won’t be running, yes. But I’m more upset about the progress in my running that I’ve worked so hard for all going down the shitter. I had been semi-content riding the bike at the gym for the past couple of weeks, convinced it was for the short term and that the MRI would show nothing other than the need for new running shoes and maybe some inserts. Not a fractured foot that will have me out of commission for weeks or months.

I know I will have to regroup and come up with a Plan B but right now, I am going to wallow. I know there are babies starving in Africa and people dying every second of some malady or other. I know that my stupid foot is a First World Problem. But until I figure out a First World Solution, I don’t want to hear about running, read about running, watch running on tv, or even SEE anyone running. Call me if you’d like to run the Country Music Marathon in April and you can have my bib. I’ll even throw in the t-shirt. Oh, and you get a cool medal if you finish.

Turning comments off because I don’t want sympathy or a lecture. Just to rant.