Dear Runkeeper,

Thank you for sending me this.

However, I am in fact, NOT “bored with my routine”, as you so helpfully suggested. You see, I no longer have a routine, unless you count lots of sleeping, cupcakes, and mentally tripping the senders of these relentless running emails as they walk down stairs.

So by all means, please, I insist, have a handful of Whoppers and some ironically named Rocky Road ice cream.This is called me, sharing my lunch with you.

And after that? Bite me.

(hugs)

Finn