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weekend report

12 Jan

This weekend has been pretty great. This was the last weekend before hub’s busy time of year officially starts so we spent Friday together being lazy and then making up for said laziness by going to the gym. We’d also lined up a babysitter for Friday night. Kiddo loves this particular sitter but sadly, she will graduate in May and is moving away. Hopefully we’ll be lucky enough to book her a few more tiIMG_20140110_121554mes before she leaves for good. Anyway, hubs and I went to our favorite restaurant and sat there for a very long time talking and laughing. Very nice.

You know, there is a reason I loathe getting blood drawn. If you have bad rolling veins, like I do, and you happen to get an unskilled technician or a phlebotomist having a bad day, you end up being a pincushion and nearly passing out in the lab. Routine blood work on Friday resulted in just that very thing. Fun times. I’m now sporting some killer bruises from my tormentor. Dude had to give up and get someone else to draw it, and she did with just one stick. I almost kissed her right there in the lab, after I punched the other guy. But I couldn’t because I was slugging apple juice and had my feet elevated on a rolling stool. At least my bandages were colorful. I know I’m fortunate that I don’t have an illness or condition that requires being repeatedly poked with needles very often.

The rest of the weekend was spent playing with kiddo and getting in a walk/jog, a nice bike ride, and some more gym time. You would think, as active as I am that I’d be skinny but I always seem to counteract my exercise with bad food. Sigh. Today’s bike ride was awesome though. The weatIMG_20140112_130605her was fantastic for January, sunny and in the 50s. I honestly didn’t think I’d get the bike back out again until spring but I couldn’t pass it up today. I could tell I hadn’t been out in a while but I still got in almost 12 miles. Came home and made some vegetarian chili (which IMO would have been 100x better with some beef in it, but marriage is all about compromise I guess) and settled in for the night.

Overall, a stellar weekend. My to-do list is lengthy this week so off to bed I go.

Bonne nuit!

food and bikes and what now

22 Oct

Sometimes when it’s late and I should be sleeping, I just sit and stare at the screen or the tv or the ceiling and think. I’m a weirdo. Anyway. Haven’t felt much like writing the past few days but here are a couple of pictures.

Went to a cool sushi place with my friend Dani the other day. The sushi goes by on a conveyor and you just grab what you want. Different, and yummy. And yeah I took a photo because I am a complete dork. Counting on lunch at my favorite Indian place with The Accountant this week. No conveyor belts there however. Just yummy naan and all the spicy!

sushi trainBike ride last weekend on the greenway. A crisp, somewhat soggy fall day made for a nice 10 miler. Not sure what I’m going to do when it gets really cold. I can say I’ll still ride but will I really?

1382219345126I think I need something else to look forward to. Something that’s just mine. The 1/2 marathon was sort of that over the past couple of months. I’m not sure what now though. I could register for another race I guess but that doesn’t really feel right somehow.

Nighty night.

morning ride and the state of my brain

15 Oct

Screen Shot 2013-10-15 at 10.08.29 AMI thought since last night’s walk was so pain free and relatively easy that this morning’s bike ride would be the same. Um, no. Apparently my legs are still in rebellion mode because those 6 miles were more than a bit lackluster. There is one TINY hill on this route and I was struggling to get up it. But it still felt good to be back on the bike. Tonight I’ll walk the pup again and call it a day.

Things are pretty meh in my head today. I feel like my head and my heart are never simpatico. I feel like I’ve always made smart decisions, practical logical decisions and where has that gotten me? A big house in the suburbs, sure. A job that pays for the house in the suburbs, yes. Some nice toys, you bet. But for all of those things, I still feel like I’m in the wrong place. Not where I’m supposed to be. In the right place as far as my brain is concerned, but not so much where my heart is concerned. I love my family. I have a good life. But while my body is there physically, my head and heart are somewhere else. I need them to match up somehow. Its a quandary for sure.

For one thing, I don’t feel fulfilled in my work and that would make a HUGE difference in my mindset and matching up that whole heart vs. brain thing. And its why I volunteer but that doesn’t pay the bills. I feel trapped by a dependance to pay the bills. Hell, I feel trapped by having to be a responsible adult. But I digress. Its soul numbing to feel like you aren’t making a difference. That you’re just taking up space. Wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time. I want to remedy this but I feel like I go through this career cycle thing every few years and haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I fail at career development because I don’t know what I want my career to be, and when I actually say out loud, “I want to be a travel writer and a nomad”, people just look at me funny. And by the way, I hate that word “career”. It sounds so…stuck, trapped, non-flexible. Ugh, frustrated.

Anyway, just feel like I’m failing at life lately. Thus, meh.

Long morning ride

29 Sep

092813_Bike_RideI got 21 miles in this morning on Trekster. It felt amazing. Perfect weather, perfect scenery. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was my sore tailbone but that’s a small price to pay for cheap therapy.

Speaking of therapy (am I awesome at segues or what?), mine went well the other day. I’m feeling better after, as well as thanks to some great friends I’ve been able to hang out with lately. I always seem to come out of those black periods and be ok until the next one hits. So I’ll ride this wave as long as I can. Its all I can do.

Dr. B asked me some great questions, which I couldn’t answer definitively at the time but they sure gave my brain a workout thinking about them. One was “what are you getting out of x situation?” and another was “Do you really like running?” She meant literally running by the way. Many times I try to force myself into being (or trying to be) something that I’m not, but I try to put a round peg in a square hole because that’s what I think I SHOULD do. She also told me that someone was talking to her about Burning Man the other day and she immediately thought of me. It has always been on my bucket list and she strongly recommended that I look into it and/or other festivals and events like it and participate in one within the next six months. It does seem an appropriate compromise to abandoning ship and running away to Timbuktu eh?

And I didn’t mean for this post to turn into a self analysis. To sleep for me.

Ciao.

 

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