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29 and holding. Plus 10.

2 Dec

So, I turned 39 today. I’m trying to feel positive about this and embrace the moment and all that jazz, but Ima keep it real and just say that it kind of sucks. I have a case of the birthday blues and feel pretty stupid and petty about it. And if anyone says “its better than the alternative”, I will punch you in the face. Because old ladies are grumpy.

The day itself was good and my friends and family were awesome with the cards and texts and posts, etc. I was treated to a sweet “work meeting” at Starbucks and went to lunch at my favorite dive diner with a favorite friend. The Accountant sent sweet flowers and kiddo gifted me the cutest drawing in a card and a Barnes and Noble giftcard which I spent on the same day because giftcards are like FIAH in my pocket.

In other news, Thanksgiving was really nice. The three of us went to my family’s and did the holiday up right. And by doing the holiday up right, I mean that I now need new pants because food baby. Christmas prep is in full swing and is stress free so far thanks to artificial trees, a set budget, and online shopping.

I’m trying to get kiddo to focus on things other than presents and to realize that she is a fortunate little bugger and that this is not everyone’s reality. She’s got several projects in the works; donating her bike to a local organization that refurbishes them for others, Soles for Souls shoe drive, shopping for gifts for a family her class is supporting. Great things for sure but I don’t think she “gets it” yet. All part of the journey I guess.

There was an excellent Tara Brach talk on serving. I’ll have to find it and link because it was so pertinent, even though the gist was pretty obvious and nothing novel or new. Yet something we tend to forget. She discussed how depressed people are selfish, in that they can be completely focused on self. I can’t speak as eloquently about it as she does but the basic premise is that by serving others and taking away that focus on self, we counter this “selfishness”. No brainer, right? I think what stuck with me was how she framed it. Because depressed people ARE selfish, at some base level, but putting yourself outside your own issues and mental quagmire is mind-clearing in many ways. And yeah, it’s 3 in the morning and I am butchering this but you get the idea.

Which reminds me, the meditation space is coming along. It’s been cleaned out and just needs some final touches and I will be omming with the best of them. Haha. Not that you need the perfect space to meditate but I’ll be glad to have a home base of sorts. And if meditation means face-planting into your keyboard in Cubicle Nation tomorrow, I’ll gonna be spot on because it’s late and sleep has eluded me, until now.

Peas ‘n Carrots.

girls be cray

27 Jul

There is a screaming contest happening on my back patio right now. The neighbors are probably going to call the cops or otherwise stage some sort of intervention. Kiddo had a birthday party at the house earlier today and is now embarking on that rite of passage known as her first slumber party…hosted by yours truly. Two girls, one a cousin and the other her bff from kindergarten. They are good girls but this is rather exhausting. Hubs bailed and went to the movies. I don’t blame him. He also helped a lot too, just to be clear.

The party went well however. We turned on sprinklers and had water balloons (yes, I spent 2 hours filling up 300 balloons) and water squirters.  I don’t know that I won’t resort back to paying to have someone else do everything. It’s just WAY easier. So anyway, y’all pray for me tonight if that’s your thing.

Later…..Well, that post got interrupted due to girly chaos. Ha. But we all survived and I was even rewarded with a nap this afternoon. All’s well that ends well.

Oh, and the new hamster is named “Juliet” and is still alive as of right now. Winning.

 

summer storms

23 Jul

CaptureKiddo is breathing heavy beside me, borderline snoring through the thunder and lightning. I love storms. At least those of the non-threatening, not gonna blow your house away kind. The snoring blond bundle turns six years old tomorrow. I’m not going to say the usual “I can’t believe how big she’s getting”, or “She’s growing up so fast” because while those things are true, that’s sort of a lame observation isn’t it? She’s getting a pet hamster and having a party at our house with her little munchkin friends. It will be a good birthday.

My trip to PA was awesome and amazing for the most part. Good friends are hard to find. Good friends who are married to each other that you like equally as much, even harder. I think a few days in PA is going to become an annual summer thing for me. No complaints about that. Speaking of trips, Paris is only two weeks away and I feel very unprepared for some reason. We did order euros and I’ll pick those up tomorrow. I need to be rounding up passports, our European plug power adapters, guidebooks, and random stuff like that.

The thunder has subsided and now there’s just a soft murmur of rain that’s making me drowsy. Time to join the kiddo and do that whole snoring thing.

Lodged, by Robert Frost

The rain to the wind said,
‘You push and I’ll pelt.’
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged–though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.

yeah, its been a minute…

11 Nov

…but people keep dying and getting sick on me. Since my last post two more grandmothers have passed, this time on The Accountant’s side, and also within a few days of each other. Its been sad and exhausting. Four deaths within less than three months…too much. Kiddo has been sick with a stomach virus, then I got it and still have it, and now I think hubs has it but that remains to be confirmed. I have missed so much work I’m surprised I still have a job to go to. I felt like crap today but managed to drag myself in anyway and have felt better as the day has worn on. On the bright side, I’ve lost 5 pounds.

CandyCornKiddoIt hasn’t all been bad of course. Halloween fell in between sickness and it was a good one. And my kiddo…come on….the cuteness…she had a great time trick or treating in the neighborhood and giving mom all her candy because, junk food. Her father has brainwashed her with healthy talk.

Kiddo continues to do well in school. We made it past her first report card and parent teacher conference with flying colors and she still loves going every day. We are ramping up for a holiday season full of dance recitals, Thanksgiving school lunches and fall festivals so its going to get busy quick!

I’m anxious to get back on the bike and into the gym as that’s fallen apart due to life’s madness. All our big toys are currently residing in the unused breakfast areScreen Shot 2013-11-11 at 2.10.33 PMa because that makes sense right? That reminds me that I need to take the two bikes in for check ups. Random brain. I’m still holding steady weight wise but I’d like to just FEEL better and I know getting back to being active is key for me.

I’ve got a notion to try indoor rock climbing here soon so we’ll see. There are two great local facilities just waiting for me and my weak arms to embarrass themselves.

And birthdays!! Brother, sister-in-law, dad, niece all had big ones over the past couple of months. Mine is next. Ack. Then mom and grandpa’s. And my sweet friend Nora. Plus my parents’ anniversary. Party party party! Or maybe just, getting older. Woo.

And now that I have successfully held down a can of soup, I’m calling it a good day. Till next time. Ciao.

for my brother

5 Sep

Happy Birthday! This sounds like us, doesn’t it?

It snowed last year too:  I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.

– Dylan Thomas

Also, we need a more recent picture of us…we both look WAY cooler now. Love you!

BenJenCollage

saturday busyness

27 Jul

I’d love a nap but its already 4pm and that would just be bad news bears. Its been an extremely full day already. Kiddo had yet another birthday party to go to, this one all the way across town at one of her friend’s homes. They had water slides and kiddie pools set up and they all had a blast. But I am really hoping this is the last birthday party for a while.

I went on another animal rescue mission, this time it was just too convenient not to. An elderly lady had an injured finch and only lived five minutes from the birthday party. How could I not? Kiddo go to “help” with this one, which she thought was pretty cool. Lil’ birdie had an injured/broken left wing and couldn’t fly but could definitely still hop and flutter. We nearly let him get away trying to get him in the transport box. But so far I’m still 2-0 as far as safe animal deliveries go.

I’m trying to will myself to get my running gear on and go to the greenway. I haven’t worked out in a couple of days and I can tell. Yucky feeling. Must.Go.Now.

more than princesses

24 Jul

Five years ago today I endured hours of labor and came out of it looking pretty rough. (see photo evidence) I’ll never do THAT again. Heh. No, I’m not kidding, seriously, I won’t. One kid and done with that, so y’all can stop asking me when I’m having another. For real. Stop it. Right now. Zip it.

I was looking back in the archives on my sidebar because you know me, I documented the pregnancy, birth, and ensuing madness of the aftermath. Whew. Those days were difficult. These days and age are much easier on this mom.

P1030033But anyway, I’m getting off on a tangent. The good news is that on that day five years ago, she was healthy and perfect and beautiful. She’s still healthy and beautiful, and perfect some of the time.

The Accountant and I are going to have lunch with her and her friends at daycare today and then bring a sweet treat to them this afternoon. Kiddo has been prancing around saying “I’m five years old, I’m five years old, I’m five years old”. And she gave me a present this morning….in her most serious voice…”Mommy, I love you more than princesses”. And if you knew how much she LOVES those dern Disney princesses you would know that this is BIG.

Happy Birthday sweet girl! One day you’ll read this blog and take your momma on a vacation or something. Love you more than princesses.

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