What is Happening?

I posted this on Facebook today but wanted it here as well. A good portion of my job is to be on Facebook and social media in general. Otherwise, I would find right now a good time to take a break, and I think it will serve me well to go ahead and limit the... Continue Reading →

Since You’ve Been Gone

I can breathe for the first time...Just kidding. After about a year's absence I kinda just have to start over here. Here are the major highlights: I started a new job! ๐Ÿ™‚ Our dog died. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I restarted and then quit grad school. Again. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I've gained about 20 pounds. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ One out of four... Continue Reading →

2016 so far

...has already had quite a few ups and downs. The Ups My dad's store moved to a new location and it is pretty amazing. Nicer and newer with better parking and facilities. It's been a stressful time for him but I think things are finally settling down and falling into place. Hubs had some big/positive... Continue Reading →

The Struggle Bus

I agree with this article, to a point. Why You're Depressed and Not Getting Better I've asked myself this very question many times and yet again over the past few weeks. It's been a very low time. I've missed work because I couldn't get out of bed. I've gotten ready for work and then had... Continue Reading →

yo yo, etc

Good news. I got a killer haircut and color today. Also, I'm back to my normal level of crazy vs. bedridden crazy. The darkness ran its course and is in the background until next time. That's just the nature of it. My entire body is sore though and I feel stiff and creaky. I think... Continue Reading →

stars

The only reason I got out of bed this morning was to get my kid to school and then pick her up again this afternoon. Then I collapsed back under the blankets and willed my bed to swallow me whole. While meditation, yoga, therapy, and medication have dramatically decreased the frequency of the "episodes" I... Continue Reading →

being a bear

I saw this via Introverts Are Awesome on Facebook, who got it from peteandbuzz.com. While I haven't felt like a bear lately, I do relate to this in a big way. Plus, it just cracked me up.

sad sick panda

Maybe its the rainy dreary weather but I woke up this morning feeling defeated before I even got out of bed. My throat is feeling sore and I have that "about to get sick" feeling. Impeccable timing as we have a babysitter all weekend and The Accountant and I are staying in the big city... Continue Reading →

this is why i’m in therapy folks

Texts this morning from yet another friend who is struggling for different reasons. Sometimes people are incredibly mean, closed minded, and heartless in their well-meaning-ness, if that makes any sense. I know life is difficult and there are struggles to be had. Its not all peachy keen, hunky dory, sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but I... Continue Reading →

red couch

Cushy red couch, box of tissues, tears streaming down my face for the better part of an hour. This is hard, brutal. Don't ever let anyone tell you that seeing a therapist is for the weak.

reset

Its like a cloud that descends. Sometimes not all the way, sometimes just partially but enough to skew my head into emo-ness and melancholy. And then it may clear just as quickly as it came, like today. I feel better now. I'm not sure what happened or why but I just do. A kind email... Continue Reading →

brooding thoughts

Today was craptastic on a few levels. I felt like I disappointed someone very dear to me and then I felt belittled by another. I suppose I shouldn't "feel" so much and both of those problems would've been moot, but that's rather alien-esque isn't it? To not feel what you feel because you simply feel... Continue Reading →

the latest

I'm more like Melancholy Melanie today rather than Crankypants McGhee. Progress people, it's a slow thing sometimes. Memorial Day weekend turned out nice. I won't recap the details but here's a list of sorts...family walk on greenway, family cookout and subsequent soccer playing, trip to the zoo, puppet making and puppet show, gym, toy mini... Continue Reading →

Crankypants McGhee

In addition to carrying over some irritability from yesterday afternoon, I also woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. This has made for unpleasantness all around and if I could crawl into a dark cave for days and have no one need anything from me or bother me, I would so... Continue Reading →

shrinkage…

...of the head. Therapy of the mental sort continues once or twice a month. I just got back from today's session. I started about a year ago this April. It has been both helpful and confusing and disturbing and unsettling and amazing. The benefits and enlightenment that comes from being able to talk to a... Continue Reading →

stupid brain

So "they" say that a person's truer personality comes out when they're drunk/drinking. I agree with that to an extent in that a person's inhibitions are tossed aside and you might be more outwardly honest (and stupid) in many ways. With that in mind, today I wondered about meds, antidepressants specifically. Am I more closely... Continue Reading →

wah wah wah

so i hate it when i stay up too late watching stupid pointless tv and/or staring into space (wow, it occurs to me that i do a lot of staring. hello stinkeye) and then i finally pass out in full makeup and without brushing my teeth so i wake up with my face all greasy... Continue Reading →

staring

It has not been the best of weekends. Kiddo got violently ill on the way home Thursday, requiring an impromptu pit stop along the interstate to clean her up best I could and get home asap. It was gross and pitiful and made me cry when she stared at me with her little lip quivering... Continue Reading →

Today….did NOT suck!

Ok, honestly today kind of did, but yesterday was good. Theย  Accountant's birthday was yesterday but we were too tired to celebrate much. Poor guy. Tax season is killing him and I've been immersed in federal grant land for weeks. But we have a sitter lined up for tomorrow night so we'll do something in... Continue Reading →

Dear Runkeeper,

Thank you for sending me this. However, I am in fact, NOT "bored with my routine", as you so helpfully suggested. You see, I no longer have a routine, unless you count lots of sleeping, cupcakes, and mentally tripping the senders of these relentless running emails as they walk down stairs. So by all means,... Continue Reading →

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