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Since You’ve Been Gone

20 Apr


I can breathe for the first time…Just kidding.

After about a year’s absence I kinda just have to start over here. Here are the major highlights:

  • I started a new job! ūüôā
  • Our dog died. ūüė¶
  • I restarted and then quit grad school. Again. ūüė¶
  • I’ve gained about 20 pounds. ūüė¶

One out of four is not great, I realize. But the steady stream of good stuff that has continued through 2017 and into this year serves to even it out I think. We’re calling it break even anyway.

First, the job. Y’all know I have complained ad nauseam¬†about Cubicle Nation for-freakin’-ever. I have been at the new gig for over six months now and I’ll be honest, barring being a kept woman or a travel writer, this is about the ideal job for me at this time and place in my life. I’m doing fun social media, communication, writing things at a non-profit. The commute is still outrageous, but I do get to work one day a week from home. The other negative was that I took a god-awful huge pay cut, but the trade-off was worth it to do worthwhile, fulfilling,¬†and creative work. So yay happiness!

Second, the dog. Our chocolate lab, Cooper was ten and a half, and after a couple of weeks of obvious illness, we found out he had cancer throughout his liver. We had to put him peacefully to sleep. I’ve never had to experience that before and it was heartbreaking. But there was no way I was going to see him not be able to get around and in pain. This was the right choice. One day (if I can convince hubs) maybe we’ll get another dog. For now, we’re adjusting to life without our Big Brown.

Third, grad school. I continued work on a graduate degree in Liberal Arts, did a few classes, then a major bout of depression hit me, and I quit. Plain and simple. It sucked, and I kind of hate myself for it. But then the new job came along and it doesn’t have the tuition benefit anyway, so I suppose it was meant to be – if you believe in all that Fate crap. Anyway, maybe anything past a Bachelor’s degree just isn’t for me. Or maybe I’ll go back someday. Time will tell.

Lastly, weight gain. What’s there to really say about that? I still struggle mightily with depression and all the food issues that go along with that. And I like my sweets and junk food, sue me. Living healthier is constantly on my mind; it’s the doing it that hinders me.

So there you have it. A year’s absence caught up in a few paragraphs. Here’s to reviving Finnspace.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

brown dog

23 Jul

His name is Cooper and he is awesome


re-entry plus randoms

22 May

IMG_20130522_165136_065Back to work today after what feels like a zillion days off. Productivity was negligible but I considered it a win that I even got there on time. Its the little things sometimes. My brain is all over the place which has never been unusual but it’s especially bad here lately. I’ll do better tomorrow. Honest.

I got up early and ran this morning. So there is that. Morning workouts alleviate guilt. So sez I. Will I do it again? Maybe. I’m not big on commitment when it comes to these things so we’ll see.

Hubs got a new-to-him ride yesterday. I call it his “fancy pants” car. It suits him and I can’t really explain why. I do know that the fancy pants car is way smarter than me.

Oh, I went and saw The Great Gatsby a few days ago. I read the book years ago and hated it. I don’t remember why I hated it exactly, it was just boring and pointless or somehow otherwise unfulfilling. But the movie captivated me and now I want to read the book again to see if I passed unfair judgement on it. The costumes, the scenery, the cars, the colors, the everything about it was glorious. Plus Leo and Toby? Cuuuuuties. It made me want to have lived in New York in the 1920s. Minus all the angsty love stricken drama.

And now it is 9:36pm and I must go walk the dog. Goodnight.

in which i ramble

17 Mar

Just so you know the status, I have a massive headache and am grumpy today. Now you’re up to date.¬†In happy news, my nails look pretty in that trashy Barbie kind of way¬†and the countdown is now at six days. All of that seems incredibly¬†petty with all that is going¬†down in the world¬†these days. It makes me wonder what in the heck is going on and if anyone or anything is in charge here. Questions questions.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day by the way. Kiddo did NOT want to wear the “This Is My Lucky Shirt” shirt I bought her but I sort of made her wear it anyway. I mean, I bought the shirt specifically for today. You will wear the shirt kid. And so she did.

For the record, if one more person asks me when I’m having kid # 2 I am going to flip out. There is this one person in particular that asks me all the time. I’m going post about it at some point and direct her to this here place on the internet for¬†the answer every time she asks.

Here is a picture of my dog. Because he hasn’t been getting enough screen time lately.

the guilt is palpable

26 Aug

aaaaaand here we are

28 Apr

Hi. I’m in one of those “I feel like talking/typing but I have nothing of value to say but am going to post anyway” kind of moods. Which usually ends up to be long rambling paragraphs about baby poop or the dream I had last night. But you don’t mind or else you wouldn’t be here reading. Or maybe you’ve already clicked off and are perusing elsewhere by now. And I’m good with that because I don’t know if you did that or not, nor do I care because this is my spot¬†in the cyberverse¬†so everyone just do their thang and we’ll all live in peace and harmony. Capeesh?

Today started off unusually horribly and has now tapered off to just the usual general horrible-ness. Ha. Y’all know you love my cynicism. I’ve spent all day redoing, adding to, my way through a document that no one will read, nor does anyone care about. It’s lame busy work and I wanted to scream and throw things and spit and roll naked down the hall in protest. But I did not. What I did¬†was smile, nod, say “sure, no problem” like I always do and then stick my tongue out¬†at the back of¬†the offending party as she moved on to other meaningless tasks. Because I am a whiney¬†adolescent at heart. But I am a whiney adolescent with a college degree hanging on my beige office wall dammit. So a big boo-ya to that, bishes.

Moving on to kid stuff…kiddo is an alien in my house. I have no idea who this creature is that does new and strange things every day, blows chunks of half chewed cheddar goldfish all over my face and gives me snotty kisses. Last night she insisted that I wear the fairy wings (yeah, you know the ones)¬†and just do nothing. Just wear the wings mommy, really, that’s all I want. And so I did and she wore hers and we watched Sesame Street and ran around the living room. She’s started calling the dog (Cooper), “poop-poop” because either she can’t say “cooper” or she just thinks calling the dog “poop-poop” is funny. I kind of like Poop-poop better too so maybe I’ll start calling him that as well. Make life a bit more¬†interesting for the canine ya know.

Book stuff…book club is this Saturday and we’re reading The Help, by Kathryn Stockett. Recommended to me by my mom and then I recommended it to the book club because any book my mom likes is usually one I will like as well. That said, have I read it yet? Heck no. I’ve got a great start though. Its really good, I just seem to be easily distracted and am reading about four books at once. Focus is a quality I have completely lost. I’m determined to finish it by Saturday though. Although, I could continue to fuel my reputation as the bookclub slacker…

Misc stuff….

I need to email my mom and my friend in NY, and call another friend. I’m kind of bad at keeping in touch. I used to be awesome at it but now…not so much. That focus problem maybe. Who knows.

Gettin’ ma hair did tomorrow night, which means I’ll be putting the base color on tonight. Woot. Then I’m planning to cause a big scene on Monday by marching my crazy headed self up to this really really really annoying lady who insulted my parenting skilz because of my hair and say “yo, gotz ma hair did…you like? no? oh, bet you wouldn’t like my tattoo either…wanna see? no? ohhhhh, dangzit, i can smell my kiddo doing meth right now because her momma done got crazy colored streaks in her hair, inked up and pierced…heaven for-freakin’-bid”. And then I’m flouncing off like I’m the coolest thing since those pants she’s wearing pulled up to her droopy boobages. Boo-ya again!

I’m off work Friday. Double freakin’ woot. The plan is to finally finish painting my bathroom. Second coat. We gotta get moving on selling the house again now that tax season has bit the dust. Too bad I’m not more excited about moving but it’s just gonna be across town so the scenery will be basically the same. I prefer bigger changes but this will be a nice diversion.

Did you see the quote I found about cheese today? It made me giggle. “Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality”. – Clifton Fadiman

Peace out. Word. Whatever.

Cooper as Fairy PrinceDog

26 Apr

Here are some pics of Sam from the weekend’s fairy funness.

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