I thought since last night’s walk was so pain free and relatively easy that this morning’s bike ride would be the same. Um, no. Apparently my legs are still in rebellion mode because those 6 miles were more than a bit lackluster. There is one TINY hill on this route and I was struggling to get up it. But it still felt good to be … Continue reading morning ride and the state of my brain
I wonder if those who’ve passed on can watch us, the ones left here. Are they shocked at the difference in someone they knew in life because they can now see how they really are in death? Can my grandma see me? And not just see me, but know what I’m feeling and thinking? Can she see my inexplicable sadness these past couple of weeks? … Continue reading in which i am a major downer
Texts this morning from yet another friend who is struggling for different reasons. Sometimes people are incredibly mean, closed minded, and heartless in their well-meaning-ness, if that makes any sense. I know life is difficult and there are struggles to be had. Its not all peachy keen, hunky dory, sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but I really don’t think it should be THIS hard for some … Continue reading this is why i’m in therapy folks
I would do this IN A HEARTBEAT. Do you know how many times I have said that I would love to go to the airport, walk up to the ticket counter and tell them to give me a seat on the next available flight to anywhere? A million times. But this is even better! Want. http://www.wfsb.com/story/22875950/heineken-asks-travelers-at-jfk-to-drop-everything Continue reading This this this this this!!!
one day i’m gonna look up at the pictures on my screen and walk out the door. Continue reading this girl is me
So, I have weird dreams. A lot of them. My theory is that its a side effect of a new med I’ve been taking but that’s neither here nor there. I don’t mind dreaming, as long as they’re not nightmares, and luckily those have been few and far between. I’ve always been interested in dream interpretation but never really sought out any information and am … Continue reading looking under the couch for my “ambition & goals”
It has not been the best of weekends. Kiddo got violently ill on the way home Thursday, requiring an impromptu pit stop along the interstate to clean her up best I could and get home asap. It was gross and pitiful and made me cry when she stared at me with her little lip quivering and said “mommy, will you take care of me?”. I … Continue reading staring
you know that feeling when you know you should go to bed because its really late but you don’t want to because your mind is whirling and you can’t shut your brain off, plus you’re not really sleepy and are just in that dreamy state of mind where random bizarre thoughts pop into your head and you are really considering driving to the airport and … Continue reading
What are those nuts called that are shaped like kidneys? I like those. And peanuts. Peanuts are my favorite. Almonds I will tolerate but they don’t really do it for me. I just ate this and it was good. I had a turkey sandwich, baked Lays and an apple for lunch. Exciting noms no? Stuff is happenin’ around here. Tomorrow I’m moving into a new … Continue reading snippets
Just saying hi to the internets after being woken from a sound sleep for a kiddo cover check. Like ya do. Ohmahgoodness…just remembered a dream I had…my 90 year old grandma was singing kareoke (a Heart song) at her church…so weird… Carry on about your sleeping… Continue reading 3am
No more late night blogging for me. I haven’t slept as badly as I did last night in a long time. And it wasn’t even THAT late, I was in bed by 11:30. But I think for every year of life you have to go to bed about 30 minutes earlier. The older you get, the earlier you should go to bed. Just a theory. … Continue reading nonsleep
I like that title. I might use it more often. The countdown is on. 11 more days. Don’t ask what I’m counting down, just trust that its good for me to do so. I got my hair cut like a boy. Super short. I like it. I get to see my mom this weekend. I need to see my mom. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately. … Continue reading stuff ‘n things. with bullets.
What is up? Mass craziness, that’s what. Lets see…Fisher is out, Egypt has completely lost its mind and I can’t get past Level 12 of Angry Birds. Some of my friends are going through tough times and I feel helpless. This week at work has been the most maddening yet and my potential new career seems to be held up in some sort of limbo-land. To combat the … Continue reading go away crazy world
I hope you always run toward your dreams and not away from them. Continue reading run baby run
It’s almost midnight on a work night and I know I should be in bed. Tomorrow is well, tomorrow, and I will stumble through it in what has come to be my normal zombie-like state. I’m having trouble getting to bed before this time lately. I just feel like this time of night is the only time I get time for me to be alone, … Continue reading down time
I came home early today as I felt like utter crap on a biscuit. I have another cold/sinus/epezooty/something or other thing. Not that I mind leaving work early as you all should know by now. I love the silence of my house when there’s no one here but me and the pets. One day I swear I am going to indulge my little hotel-weekend-alone fantasy. … Continue reading not exactly rockin’ it out
So I dunno if I like this new look or not but its different so we’re gonna roll wit it for now. Today is…a day. I sit here as usual, struggling to stay awake. Struggling to sit in front of this screen and do that thing I do day in and day out. And it makes me sad. So I escape into my brain and … Continue reading i’m thinking (take cover now)
I’ve had “Edge of Desire” from JM’s new album, Battle Studies, on repeat in my car for the past week. Sometimes I get hooked on a song and won’t let it go. This one in particular makes me all melancholy and wistful weird. It’s tortured, longing, desperate. It speaks to me for various personal reasons I won’t go into. It reminds me of something from my past that I can’t forget … Continue reading what the song says
I bought a pumpkin today. Never bought a pumpkin before that I can recall. Here’s my question…is there a difference between a “pie pumpkin” (that’s what it says on the sticker) and one you use to carve a jack-o-lantern? Do I need to return my “pie pumpkin” for a “jack-o-lantern” pumpkin? ‘Cause you know I ain’t makin’ no dang pie! Or a jack-o-lantern either for … Continue reading back to your regularly scheduled randomness
First a random baby note: Sam can sign “hungry”, “thirsty” and “brush teeth”. It’s quite cute and quite handy. Except that she like to sign “brush teeth” a LOT. I think she’s just in love with the taste of the Elmo toothpaste. Can’t blame her, it is yummy. I’m just going to go ahead and apologize for this post. I just re-read it and visably … Continue reading this is painful, don’t even bother
Sometimes my brain is completely blank, lacking even one iota of inspiration. I wonder how many hours I’ve wasted staring at the screen or into the blank pages of my journal before I resign myself to typing a few paragraphs of diary-esque drivel or filling the page with doodles of curly ques and flowers? Sometimes I dream of walking up to a random airline counter and buying a … Continue reading sometimes
I’m listening to some lovely French music from a fellow blogger friend and I’m totally zenning out. I have no idea what they are singing about but I really don’t care either. It sounds all sexy and exotic anyway, even if it happens to be the French phone book or something. I think the creative part of the brain needs a jolt of something new sometimes … Continue reading gettin’ my zen on…french style
Sometimes (ok a lot of times) I catch myself completely zoning out. As in spacey-brain, mind-wandering, free-thinking, day-dreamin’ girl. It’s like the opposite of meditation or something. Because when you meditate aren’t you supposed to be focused on something specific? Like various aspects of nature, deep breathing, or how your aura fits within the Universe or something? And not that I’m hatin’ on that kind … Continue reading i’m sorry, could you repeat that?
I had a blogging dream last night. I was going through my day and along the way I was collecting random things that happened and noting them in my head to post as one of my scattered, off-the-cuff ramblings that I tend to do. The only one I can remember was that as I was on my way to somewhere in the morning along a windy … Continue reading dreams and vagueness