Sometimes all the time I need a little help to keep me from freaking out at the dentist. The following are snippets from the times I remembered to document it over the years. 11.15.2005 The Dentist is the Devil 02.12.2007 Thoughts Floating in a Nitrous Clouded Mind 09.11.2007 The Only Time I Find Ceiling Tiles Amusing 11.02.2009 You Know You’re High When… 07.30.2013 Brain Float Continue reading From the Dentist’s Chair
Today I did something that ranks in the top three dumbest things I’ve ever done. Being something of a scatterbrain, I do a lot of dumb things. I lose my keys at least three times a week, put toothpaste in the refrigerator, go the wrong way coming out of stores in the mall, can’t find my car in parking lots and garages—things like that. It’s Wednesday … Continue reading The Morning Burglar
My latest therapy session was a good one. We spent a lot of time talking about simply wanting to feel better and using that as motivation rather than relying on a number on the scale or the size of my pants to dictate my mood. I’m feeling all of my 42 years plus about 10 more these days. I shouldn’t struggle so much to get … Continue reading Therapy: On Feeling Better
I can breathe for the first time…Just kidding. After about a year’s absence I kinda just have to start over here. Here are the major highlights: I started a new job! 🙂 Our dog died. 😦 I restarted and then quit grad school. Again. 😦 I’ve gained about 20 pounds. 😦 One out of four is not great, I realize. But the steady stream of … Continue reading Since You’ve Been Gone
Sometimes you’re in the middle of folding laundry and are watching Abstract: The Art of Design on Netflix at the same time and thinking about how you’ve been in this really weird frustrating place for the past several days. It’s a place you find yourself over and over again, probably once every couple of months at a minimum. It’s restlessness to the extreme, but restlessness … Continue reading the place
My time management skills are the pits. As are my organizational skills, which I feel would be much better if my time management skills were better. Or maybe it’s the other way around? Which came first, the organized Finn or the efficient Finn? Half the time I feel like I’m barely keeping it together without losing my mind, giving up, and just crawling under the … Continue reading managing time
I think of a jillion things to write about here during the day or when I’m in the shower or otherwise not at the keyboard. Then when I sit down to write, my mind goes blank and all I can think of is what I ate for lunch or what I did at work today. And who wants to read about that? Anywho. Brains love … Continue reading the nothing that turned into a post
Its 5:00 am and entirely too quiet, too dark, and too cold for the madness that is me getting up to go for a wog (walk/jog) this morning. The argument in my head was of the classic angel vs devil variety. My Head: Its a new day! Go wog. You’ll be glad you did. My Bed: Its soooo warm and cozy in here, isn’t it? … Continue reading humble pie for breakfast
I cannot sit still today y’all. Cannot focus. Cannot stand the confines of this cubicle. I am fidgety. Whew. I’m making lists and thinking of things I need and want to do and getting not much of anything done in this whole chaotic process that’s swirling in my head. I will look into mind-quieting meditation… Sometimes I wonder if a set daily routine would help … Continue reading The ADD is strong with this one
The best intentions… I meant to walk myself, or at least the dog when I got home from work but one thing led to another (read errands, homework, kid bedtime) and next thing I know I’m waking up next to Kiddo and it’s 3:00am. I can’t get back to sleep so I utilize this bizarre surge of energy and straighten the house a bit, try … Continue reading weird energy
Random…Here’s a photo I took of a llama…Or an alpaca…Some sort of camelid anyway. I think he/she is pretty cool…yep, so very random. This blog y’all…I neglect it for long periods of time because I get confused about what to do with it…what I want it to be…how I want to frame things here. And then I think too much, get overwhelmed and ignore it. … Continue reading unsure
The hair y’all. If you know me at all, you know that my hair is a thang. I bore easily in general, so I tend to change up the coif frequently and it’s been many many many colors and cuts and spiky and slicked back and boy short usually. However, for whatever reason, primarily additional boredom I can only assume, this is the longest its … Continue reading an entire post about my hair
Yesterday I made a last minute adjustment to my plans to return to work and decided to go back home after dropping kiddo at camp. I had a “me” day and it was glorious. The electricity was going off and on most of the morning and I may or may not have been stuck outside waiting for it to come on again because I didn’t … Continue reading a gold pin and other things
I was reading something the other day that stuck in my brain and made me want to “write it out”. What’s that saying about never letting anyone determine your self worth? Something like that. I make mistakes. Sometimes the same ones repeatedly. And there are times that I feel like I have imparted grace to others in multiple instances but don’t get that same consideration … Continue reading funny and serious
My workouts haven’t happened in about a week. Remedied that tonight with a 5K run/walk. I didn’t eat well today and kind of lost energy and heart about midway through. Meh. Hot, humid, and slow, but done. I got a direct message from our county library (or at least the social media person) that kind of made my day…”Just wanted to let you know I … Continue reading snippets
Its late. I just woke up feeling a bit panicky. That hasn’t happened in a couple of weeks. Nothing I can’t handle, just, feelings. The phrase “fake it till ya make it” popped into my head. True words. Watched a few clips from Amelie because I’m weird like that and there’s something soothing to me about listening to someone speak French regardless of what they’re … Continue reading weirdo beardo feardo
Texts this morning from yet another friend who is struggling for different reasons. Sometimes people are incredibly mean, closed minded, and heartless in their well-meaning-ness, if that makes any sense. I know life is difficult and there are struggles to be had. Its not all peachy keen, hunky dory, sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but I really don’t think it should be THIS hard for some … Continue reading this is why i’m in therapy folks
Brain won’t shut off or shut up. Sometimes it screams at me, things I don’t want or need to hear. Or maybe I do, I don’t even know. I was going to text a friend who would get it but my cell service seems to be down. Throat is feeling a tad swollen so I’m hoping I’m not getting sick. Having lunch with a friend … Continue reading Heeeeeey 2am
No workout tonight. My head is splitting. Pain. I’m guessing a combo of being a girl (yay, lucky me, men are stupid*, don’t look at me in that tone of voice, etc), and the fact that I ate weirdly and non-healthily today. And did I mention the cramps? TMI? Oh, I’m sorry but this is my blog and I’ll talk about my female issues if … Continue reading head meet ache meet perspective
Frances Ha. 9 out of 10 stars. At first I found the dialogue a bit disjointed and awkward but I don’t know if I just got used to it or it appealed to me more after it settled in my brain after sleeping on it. Shot in black and white, it was lovely to look at and Greta Gerwig made the movie work I think. … Continue reading Life isn’t like the movies, and how do babies get outta there
…of the head. Therapy of the mental sort continues once or twice a month. I just got back from today’s session. I started about a year ago this April. It has been both helpful and confusing and disturbing and unsettling and amazing. The benefits and enlightenment that comes from being able to talk to a neutral party about anything without fear of judgement, being the … Continue reading shrinkage…
I’m on a short fuse today for one reason or another. Its Sunday, so by this time every weekend I’ve responded to 20 gazillion calls of “mommy mommy” and my patience is taxed. I know that I am kiddo’s whole world at this stage in her life so I try to keep perspective and channel my inner Zen. Its just….eh, whatever. Moving on. People really … Continue reading Testy
3:00 AM seems to be my time. My time to what, I don”t know exactly, just “my time”. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on kiddo’s floor (yet again) but here I am. Eating Honey Nut Cheerios from the box and struggling to remember my WordPress password because I don’t log in as much as I used to. I remembered it, obs. And dang, I … Continue reading too much
so i hate it when i stay up too late watching stupid pointless tv and/or staring into space (wow, it occurs to me that i do a lot of staring. hello stinkeye) and then i finally pass out in full makeup and without brushing my teeth so i wake up with my face all greasy and itchy and with fuzzy gross teeth and realize that … Continue reading wah wah wah
It has not been the best of weekends. Kiddo got violently ill on the way home Thursday, requiring an impromptu pit stop along the interstate to clean her up best I could and get home asap. It was gross and pitiful and made me cry when she stared at me with her little lip quivering and said “mommy, will you take care of me?”. I … Continue reading staring
