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let me be sappy for a minute

14 Feb

I cringe when I think about how much I have taken him for granted in the recent past. He loves me and kiddo to the ends of the earth and takes care of us like no one else ever could. I don’t deserve him. We will celebrate 15 years of marriage this summer (in Paris no less!!!) and 18 total years together. Marriage isn’t easy and sometimes we have a knack for making it harder than it has be. But the two of us are stronger than ever before and I can’t imagine my life without this man. This morning we told each other that we would love each other forever. Truer words were never spoken. ♥ I love you baby!

PicMonkey Collage

it’s raining, it’s pouring

28 Aug

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

Life is not fair. Neither is death. A man should not have to bury his brother and on the same day, have to call in hospice for his mother. The antithesis of fair. But life isn’t designed to be fair, if there’s much design to it at all, which I frequently doubt.

Thank you to all who have offered thoughts, prayers, and words of comfort over the past weeks and in the days and weeks to come.

The Dairy Queen

16 Jun

My favorite memory from my local DQ back in the day? When my high school boyfriend asked me to wear his class ring. We were sitting in a booth by the window and it was all awkward and adorable.

image

run baby run

23 Sep

I hope you always run toward your dreams and not away from them.

and it was

19 Sep

The Best Wedding Ever, I mean. For real. The ceremony took place in my parent’s front yard. Which, for the record, is not really your typical front yard. The driveway is a mile or so long, it’s in the woods, there’s a huge hill at the end of the driveway and my parents live in the “holler” at the bottom. 

Cars were parked at the end of the driveway and the guests were bused in. Yep, a wedding shuttle service. As soon as all guests were on site, the bridesmaids, bride, and flower girl hopped in the horse drawn wagon and were delivered to the top of The Hill. The groomsman made the trek up to us and we all walked down together through the trees to take our places. It was so pretty and different. We took our position in the circle and the bride made her grand entrance in the horse and wagon where her father helped her out and the ceremony began!

Sam was a great flower girl. She was pumped to ride in the horse wagon and walk down the big hill. I was so proud of her. We had practiced at home with cotton balls as petals and an old Halloween bucket for a basket.  She held The Accountant and my hand like a trooper and threw an appropriate amount of petals on the ground. She did get a bit restless and threw the basket toward the preacher but luckily it missed him and she went to sit quietly with Papa the rest of the ceremony. Ha.

The ceremony wasn’t too long, thank goodness. I loathe long weddings that drone on and on and you just want to tell the couple to get married already! The vows were short and sweet and a couple of songs were sung by a family friend. The unity sand ceremony was way cool. I’d never seen that before and it was really sweet.

The reception was killer. Tents with food and mass amounts of cake. A popcorn machine like the ones you see in concession stands (that was quite popular, all the popcorn was gone by the time I got a chance to try and get some. And you know that upset me!), a firepit for roasting hot dogs and excellent live music. Pictures were taken and then the bride and groom made their departure in the horse and wagon.

Big kudos to the wedding planner and both families for making it happen. Best.Wedding.Ever.

   

reframing the day*

20 Jul

Very rough morning today. I was already on edge from some other things going on. On edge, as in I lay in bed for 45 minutes willing some sort of rip in the fabric of the universe to happen so that I wouldn’t have to get up. On edge, as in I didn’t shower this morning and am wearing the same jeans that I had on yesterday. On edge, as in I don’t even care. 

I guess either kiddo could tell I was out of sorts, or she was having her own internal dramas. She’d been up at 3:00am and then again at 4:00. Wanting mommy to find a particular paci and hold her just so and rock her just so and cuddle her  just so and then cover her up, just so. This morning she wanted to go potty, but then she didn’t, but oh wait, then she did again. Repeat 20 times. She wanted to go left, oh wait, no, right, not really, left again. Repeat 10 times. She wanted the Pokey Little Puppy book. No, maybe Elmo instead. Ok, Pokey Little Puppy. Repeat 7 times.

She cried for an hour at home and then in the car. Crying so hard she could hardly catch her breath. Those deep chest rattling sobs. Mommy cried too. Silently, but raging in my head, things I’d never say out loud. Kiddo’s sobbing stopped a couple blocks away from salvation daycare. I looked back at her and the little booger grinned at me through red rimmed blue eyes. Gah. But then she started crying again when I tried to scrape dried and gooey bananas off her legs which was part of the breakfast she decided she didn’t want (my car has banana slices strewn everywhere, that’s gonna smell good later). Into daycare I trudge carrying kiddo, both of us a sniffling hot mess. Her teachers could obviously see how flustered I was and gave me kind words and hugs for my snotty faced toddler.

I got to work, took some deep breaths and decided to look at some pictures to remind myself just how good the good times are. And that I’m one of gazillion moms who struggle some days. But still, sometimes I don’t think I was meant to do this, don’t think I CAN do this. But I always do. Somehow.

*credit: Donita

11 years plus Anniversary Cobbler

27 Jun

Saturday was The Accountant and my 11 year anniversary! Wow right? Of course that doesn’t count the 3 plus years that we dated. So officially I have been driving him crazy for almost 15 years!

We were out to eat Saturday with Sam and it came up in conversation with the waitress that it was our anniversary. She asked the obligatory “how many years” question and we told her. She then looked at Sam and said “well, they waited a minute on you didn’t they?” Ha! Made me laugh because its true, we waited several minutes on her. Worth it though. I like that we waited so long to have a child. We had ample opportunity to get into that married life groove, do our own thing as a couple, lots of travelling, getting to know each other as a married pair rather than instant parents.

As a token of my love, I cooked. Baked rather. A blackberry cobbler. Wanna see? Here’s some progression pictures. Because when I cook, I wanna prove it actually happened.

A pan o’ blueberries…can’t screw that up right? Looking good so far…

Sprinkled with the dry stuff.

Butter! Yes, Butter! Feel like I should insert a Paula Deen quote here.

Then, the recipe said to place pastry on blackberries, trim edges and seal. Seal? Seal to what? The sides of the pan I guess. So I smushed my circular pastry thingy (thank you Kroger) into the sides of my rectangular pan. Not pretty but your tongue can’t taste pretty right?

Thirty minutes later, viola! Not bad right? I mean, it looks ok. Doesn’t appear to be lethal or anything. And so, angels sang, heavenly lights shone down and The Anniversary Cobbler took a place of honor in the kitchen.

The verdict? The Accountant says it tastes good. However, it is quite runny. Water comes to mind. Flour next time. Really. Oh, I didn’t taste it. What? Is that weird? I don’t even LIKE blackberry cobbler! This was a labor of true LUUUUUURVE people!!!

 

And so, Happy Anniversary baby! Love you! Next year? Chocolate cake!!!
xoxoxoxoxo!!!

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