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I love this

22 Jan

REVERSE LIVING

Life is tough.
It takes a lot of your time,
all your weekends,
and what do you get at the end of it?
Death, a great reward.
I think that the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you live twenty years in an old-age home.
You are kicked out when you are too young.
You get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work forty years until you’re
young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You go to college,
you party until you’re ready for high school.
You become a little kid, you play,
you have no responsibilities,
you become a little boy or girl,
you go back into the womb,
you spend your last nine months floating.
And you finish off as a gleam in someone’s eye.

Norman Glass

books. poetry.

23 Aug

CaptureI’m reading the best book. Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler. The Jazz Age, F. Scott, New York City, great writing…what’s not to love? I think I’m going to give The Paris Wife a go next.

I gave up on Winter’s Tale because it was boring me to death. I know many people who cannot bear to finish a book once they’ve started it, no matter how much they dislike it. I am not one of those people. Life is too short to do things you hate; I feel the same way about reading books. There are too many books out there and not enough life time to read them all. I’m not wasting my time on ones I don’t like. You have 25% of a book to get me interested and decide whether or not to keep reading. I think that’s a generous effort on my part but if I’m not into it by then, back on the shelf you go.

I’m starting an online course in Modern Poetry in a couple of weeks and am pretty excited about it. This site, Coursera, is really great. There are courses on all kinds of topics and they are all free, completely legit, and taught by professors and professionals from universities and organizations all over the world. My workplace has courses on it, which is how I learned about it. Its a fabulous resource for those of us with a little bit (or a lot) of ADD in life who want to learn more about lots of things and expand the ol’ bean. I’m a fan.

Happy reading!

think

10 Mar

I think a lot. I think too much.

Right now I’m thinking that the clock is stuck at 2:51 and will never move again. I think I need chocolate because that’s what I think everyday around 3pm. I think I want another tattoo but can’t decide on what or where. I think one day I’ll go to the airport and tell the ticket agent to surprise me.

I read “A Mad Girl’s Love Song” by Sylvia Plath today and liked it. I want to read more. Go to more art museums and poetry readings. Maybe take another dance class. I should have been a starving artist. Or a hobo.

I just told someone that leading questions are the most interesting ones. I’m pretty sure I’m right about that.

 

Lehman

21 Nov

January 31 (The sky is crumbling…)

by David Lehman

The sky is crumbling into millions of paper dots
the wind blows in my face
so I duck into my favorite barber shop
and listen to Vivaldi and look in the mirror
reflecting the shopfront windows, Broadway
and 104th, and watch the dots blown by the wind
blow into the faces of the walkers outside
& here comes a thin old man swaddled in scarves,
he must be seventy-five, walking slowly,
and in his mind there is a young man dancing,
maybe seventeen years old, on a June evening —
he is that young man, I can tell, watching him walk

weird things that stick in my brain

23 Mar

I have been trying to find this poem for AGES!! I remember it from a college lit class and it stuck in my head all these years, popping up every now and then for whatever reason. But all I could remember was that it was about a cleaning lady finding a frog in the toilet. I remember thinking it was funny and that I liked it very much.

Enter the magic of Google…I’ve searched for it before but no luck. However, today the words “frog in toilet” were typed just right and here is the missing poem!

Enjoy. Or just wrinkle your nose in bewilderment. Whichever.

Hazel Tells Laverne
by Katharyn Howd Machan

last night
im cleanin out my
howard johnsons ladies room
when all of a sudden
up pops this frog
musta come from the sewer
swimmin aroun an tryin ta
climb up the sida the bowl
so i goes ta flushm down
but sohelpmegod he starts talkin
bout a golden ball
an how i can be a princess
me a princess
well my mouth drops
all the way to the floor
an he says
kiss me just kiss me
once on the nose
well i screams
ya little green pervert
an i hitsm with my mop
an has ta flush
the toilet down three times
me
a princess

whatever i want

4 Feb

I love Emily Dickinson. Love her. I was perusing some of her poems today and yep, I definitely love her. She was an intriquing little bird it seems. I like how she sort of shunned society. I wanna do that many days. Today being one of them. Anyway, I bet she was cool.

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us — don’t tell!
They’d advertise — you know!

How dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell one’s name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

– Emily Dickinson

I have a headache today which I may have already mentioned as I am prone to repeating myself. The past few days have been more stressful than usual. Work stuff, home stuff, just stuff. And I’m holding it in, internalizing it or something (believe it or not), which is not good.

I’m not sleeping well or long enough. I just want to be left alone in a dark room and burrow under my covers in the most comfortable bed in the world (that would be mine).  I’m saving that little fantasy for tomorrow. But today, I had to join the rest of the rats on the interstate and pretend to be a normal member of corporate society. However, I told a coworker that I was invisible for the day. I then donned my Potteresque invisibility cloak and willed no one to speak to me or see me. This plot was an epic failure. I’ll try it again tomorrow because I’m such a hopeful sort.

Somewhat related I guess is the fact that I’ve always been the restless kind and it seems I’m always fighting that tendency. I’m tired of fighting it. I just want to go with it. Wherever the wind blows, as the song says. I definitely shoulda been some sort of hobo. Or at least an Army brat. Is it boredom? Or just me being me? Am I just naturally the bored sort? Nice lot in life I seem to have drawn if that’s the case. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that I have a great life, by society’s standards. And no, I’m not going to list my blessings here, I know what they are and I am grateful for them in my own way. But that’s not to say I don’t wish for more. Or maybe just for different. And if that’s a character flaw, so be it. I’m flawed.

I’ve definitely become a stronger personality as I’ve aged. More bitchy, if you will. I think that’s a good thing. Being the shy, delicate little flower of my youth…well, that kinda sucked. You get run over being that person. People take advantage and you feel like you can never say no. I’m done with that. And it feels good.

So I guess in many ways, I’m growing into myself. Or something. I don’t really know how to word what I mean. Some aspects of myself I like better than I used to and some I like less. I guess that means I’m breaking even. Except the problem is that I don’t want to break even. I want to come out ahead. Preferably in France.

I do believe this is called “navel gazing”. Heh. I kinda like it.

in which i shake my fist at the universe…

29 Jan

…and she laughs in my face, and then spits snow in it.

Today was just bizarre. Here was my plan…take kiddo to day care, come home, make quick grocery run, get ready and drive back to town for an interview, interview, knock their socks off and get an offer on the spot, do jubilant cartwheels down the hall and all the way to my car, pick up kiddo at day care, come home and continue the cartwheel par-tay.

But you know what Burns said (and Steinbeck lifted) about the best laid plans…

Yeah, I knew what the weather forecast called for. But really, how many times have there been false alarms and mass panic at the grocery store due to the tiniest threat of snow? I was hopeful that cutie-pie Dan the Weatherman from Channel 4 would be wrong yet again and/or that the Blizzard of 2010 would hold off until I was done with my mission.

I got punkin delivered safely to school, drove back home, got groceries and then got the call as I pulled into my driveway…they wanted to reschedule the interview for next week due to the weather that was just now hitting. I was calm, I was cool despite the fact that I had to drive back to the “city” anyway to pick up kiddo. (And yes, I realize that a normal person would have kept kiddo and just dropped them at daycare before the interview and picked them up afterwards, thus saving a trip. However, I am not a normal person and prefer to make things as difficult as possible. Ok, not really, but I’m just not one of those moms who finds multi-tasking with a toddler an easy thing. So I thought I’d make things easier on myself and take Sam to her beloved school. Figured she’d have more fun there than with crazy distracted mommy who would be doing ten things at once.) Oh well, these things happen and now I am set to wow ’em on Monday instead. So there we go and here we are.

The rest of the day was pretty much perfect though. Sam was coloring with the other kids when I got there to pick her up and it was so dang cute. She was in a great mood the rest of the day, gave me many kisses and hugs, took a 4 hour nap which meant that I got about a 2 hour one, and we played and read a multitude of books until her bedtime.

The weather has put another dent in my weekend and there will be no attending the Predators game with bro and future sis-in-law tomorrow night. But we are just gonna shift our plans to next weekend and watch them take on the Sharks instead. By the way, if you want the tickets for tomorrow night, let me know and I’ll email them to you. Maybe you can ice skate to the game or something. Me, I’m not that talented.

We were also supposed to have a realtor come out and check out the house and give us the low-down on what we need to do to put it on the market. I haven’t heard but I’m guessing that’s off as well. I hope so as I didn’t do anything much in the way of cleaning or straightening up…

So, all this to say, flexibility is a good quality to have right? 

Tomorrow will be spent in flannel jammies, watching Sesame Street and playing with kiddo. Maybe we’ll get adventuresome and play in the white stuff. Although, get this…Sam seems to be scared of the snow. Day care has an open courtyard that was covered in snow when I picked her up. I thought, “oh this will be cute, we’ll walk through it on the way to the car and maybe play a bit”. Ummmm, no. She wouldn’t set a foot in it. And when I picked her up and I was going to walk in it to show her it was harmless, she wigged out. Not a fan apparently. We had to walk all along the sidewalk to get to the car because she wanted nothing to do with the snow. Funny kid.

I leave you with this. Because Robert Frost is one of my favorites.

“Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sounds the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

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