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Life isn’t like the movies, and how do babies get outta there

12 Jun

Frances Ha. 9 out of 10 stars.

At first I found the dialogue a bit disjointed and awkward but I don’t know if I just got used to it or it appealed to me more after it settled in my brain after sleeping on it. Shot in black and white, it was lovely to look at and Greta Gerwig made the movie work I think. Her character was awkward, clumsy, free spirited and just plain lovable. I mean, she pirouettes across the streets of New York and uses a credit card she got in the mail to go to Paris for a weekend, what’s not to love? As my fellow viewer said, you just have to root for her. She was just wacky. I like wacky. Kudos Frances, kudos.

Continuation of kiddo’s hard questions…”how do babies get outta there”? Well, I told her. Not my wisest mommy decision I’ll admit. I don’t think she’ll be scarred for life though but really, I should have said something other than that the doctor cuts the baby out of the mommy’s belly or the baby comes out the mommy’s hoo-hah. Dumb dumb dumb. True, but dumb. It didn’t occur to me that she doesn’t have the knowledge of how the baby gets in there in the first place so she was afraid that she’d just wake up one day with a baby in HER belly and have to get it out in one of the ways I’d quickly mumbled to her. Once I realized her tearful angst I quickly distracted her with Skittles. Like all mom’s do in a bind…bribe with candy. Better strategy next time mom because the truth ain’t always the way to go.

The End.

looking forward and back

1 Jan

I love quotes. And this one by Bill Vaughan made me laugh.

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

Is it a pessimistic quality to love cynicism like that? Ah well, I count it as part of my charm. And here’s another one, because I also love Jay Leno.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

As usual, our New Year’s Eve was quite tame and uneventful. I didn’t even ring in the new year with Ryan Seacrest. I think I was in bed by 10. So sad. Some day I’m going to get myself all snazzied up in a sexy black dress and stilettos and go to a fancy party with hors d’oeuvres, party hats, confetti, champagne and midnight smooches.

I feel like I am obligated by some unknown force to write a post that will enlighten, reflect and inspire regarding the old and new year. But I’m really not sure I have anything all that worthy to say that would mean anything to anybody but me. But since this is my blog, well, its my place to contemplate on the screen for you to read if you wish.

2008 was a year of “growth” for me. And I mean that mentally and physically! I spent a little over half of 2008 pregnant for the first time. Late summer and fall were spent in new baby mode and I stumbled around the house bleary eyed, teary eyed and more insane than is my usual. I dealt with things I had never encountered before – the pain of breastfeeding, sleepless nights, postpartum depression, massive responsibility for a tiny person completely dependent on us for survival and love.  But I also experienced that sweet new baby smell (minus the poop), watching innocent sleep and seeing my daughter smile at me for the first time which of course turned me to a ball of mushy gushy goo. I finally hit my stride during the last couple of months of ’08 and am finally enjoying being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Sam from the start but I think the changes that come along with having a baby were a huge shock to my system and I struggled to make the necessary adjustments.

Regarding New Year’s resolutions…One of my favorite things is a fresh blank journal. Cracking the binding opens up untainted pages waiting for me to fill them with new doodles, brooding rants, bad poetry, and ruminations meant for my eyes only. (And I do not keep my journal in my sock drawer so don’t bother looking for it there). I guess its the same with a new year; the perfect opportunity for a mental fresh start although I think it wise to remember that every day, every moment, offers us an opportunity to make changes for the better. This year, I’m opting to keep my resolutions to myself. I will make them but I don’t plan on sharing them with anyone. That way, if I happen to fail, no one will know it but me. Smart right? I’m crafty like that. To be vague, I mostly want to be more true to myself, if that makes any sense. It does to me. I want to focus on some career adjustments, educational goals and some personal things I’d like to work through.

I look forward to this year and hope we all have a wonderful 2009. Thanks for reading my ramblings and enduring all the baby pictures. You all deserve a medal.

And because I am addicted to The Quotations Page, here’s one for the road…

Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.  – Douglas Pagels 

how do i bring sexy back?

12 Sep

You know those women who claim to love their new post-childbirth-bodies?  The ones who expound on the beauty and utility of their new boobs and maintain that they have embraced their stretchmarks as some honorable “badge of motherhood”?

I am not one of those women. 

And those women are obviously lying.  I’m just sayin’.

I agree with these same women when they say how awed they are that their bodies could produce such amazing little babies (all credit given to God of course).  But my question is, why does such a beautiful creation that came from within my body have to leave it so completely wrecked? 

I’ve been avoiding looking in the mirror for the last several weeks because when I happen to catch a glimpse of my reflection I physically cringe.  Either that or I bite my lip and begin to tear up, which quickly escalates into me turning into a blubbering mash of quivering chins and jiggling cellulite while I curse my reflection and vow to never eat another chocolate chip cookie again.  I’ll have ice cream instead.  (I’m one of those people who eat more, not less, when they get down and out.  And that obviously makes this particular problem worse.  Woot.)  But I digress.

That is not me.  Those are not my stretch marks on that sagging jelly belly, those are not my thighs with the extra chunk, those are not my boobs with their new shape, that is not my butt that is still wearing maternity pants because it refuses to fit into even my old “fat” jeans, that is not my face with the two chins, those are not my upper arms that continue to wave goodbye even after I’ve stopped. 

Newsflash to self – this is not my body! 

Yeah I know, cry me a river right?  Well I plan to, so go ahead and put on your waders.  Seriously it has been over a year since I’ve felt a tiny bit “pretty”, least of all “sexy” in any way.  The obvious answer to the physical dilemma is diet and exercise of course.  I get that.  And now that I finally feel like walking down the street won’t cause my internal organs to fall out , I have a plan in that regard.   But what about the mental aspects of a positive body image?  I struggled with that even before my newfound physique came along so I wonder if I can ever look at myself in the mirror again without truckloads of self depreciation and frankly, disgust.

I just want to feel attractive again for myself and for the only other person that it matters to and I want to stop feeling like I have to hurl whenever I see my new “mom bod”.  Is it possible to get back there?  I suppose only time will tell.  Along with help from a multitude of salads, buckets of sweat and a few months worth of medication.

She’s finally here!!

27 Jul

Samantha Elizabeth was born on her due date, and on her great-grandfather’s birthday, July 24th at 8:46 am.  I can’t believe we made it.  Pictures and details to come!  Thanks to everyone for thinking of us! 

Hugs,

Finn, The Accountant & Sami

how to amuse a pregnant lady

20 Jul

It has been a very nice weekend, albeit a very uncomfortable one.  I am in a much better frame of mind than I was when I threw down that last post for some reason.  Maybe because I know that no matter what, I only have to drag my aching body into work for three more days at the most.  Samantha can stay in there forever but I am taking maternity leave starting this Thursday regardless.  Although, I would not be surprised if baby Sami fell right out and onto the floor at any moment, that’s what I feel like.  If only it were that easy right?

My good buddy Scout and my bro made the trip to play Santa in July and brought me several baby goodies, gifts and clothes from folks back home.  Those two kids even brought pink iced sugar cookies and Doritoes!  They know me so well!  It really was like Christmas around here.  Mom had packed up some of my and/or my bro’s old baby clothes and a stuffed giraffe she made eons ago that I had completely forgotten about until I pulled it out of the bag.  Isn’t it great?  It’s so cool to be able to hand down things you used as a baby to your own child.  I wore the shirt and here’s the giraffe…

Very 1970s eh?

Seems like there are brand new babies everywhere…Lil’ Miss Marley (oh how I adore that name!) and Lola (another fantabulous name choice!) made recent arrivals.  I guess my little one is going to hold out until the last possible minute.  I know I’m not overdue yet but it’s a bit frustrating because everyone I know has gone early or have been having contractions for ages but I got nothin’.  Among other things, I tried the Mexican food thing last night but no dice.  I’m not even sure if I’ve been having Braxton Hicks or not, I think so but I’m not sure. Maybe that means it will happen all of a sudden and go quickly?  Hey, I can dream can’t I?   

It’s interesting though because the longer I go, the funnier people are.  Or maybe it’s just me.  Here’s an amusing example from yesterday.  The Accountant and I went to the hospital to visit his grandmother and I was waiting in the main lobby while he parked the car.  A hospital employee was also in the lobby and she looked at me and said

“Are you ok?”

I was a bit puzzled (do I look that bad?) but just smiled and said I was fine, thanks.

She responded,

“Are you going to Labor & Delivery?”

I laughed and said,

“I wish, but not today I guess.”

She just smiled and told me that she worked in L&D and was going to offer to take me up to the unit with her! 

What could I say except “thank you very much but I guess I’m not quite ready yet”! 

People I don’t know freak out a bit now when they ask when I’m due and I say – “Thursday, or any minute now”.   Their eyes widen and they say things like “oh goodness” and warily back away while suspiciously eyeing my bulging tummy.  It’s quite entertaining.  People I do know just say “you still haven’t had that baby yet”.  Well, no, can’t say that I have.  Funny stuff. 

I have to find amusement in these things or I’ll go crazy.

a quick baby update

16 Jul

I had my 39 week doctor appointment today.  I’m finally dialated!  Although not very much at all (1.5 centimeters), I’ll still take it.  I go back to the doc on my due date – the 24th – and if Sami hasn’t made her entrance by then I’ll be induced at some point the following week. 

The end is in sight folks and I am sooooo ready.

the most boring doctor’s appt ever

10 Jul

I’m thankful that my pregnancy has been relatively “boring” with no complications and whatnot.  I really am.  That said, today was the ultimate in boring appointments.  There’s no further progress from last week and Sami’s head still needs to drop some more, after which the doc told me I will begin experiencing “sharp stabbing pains in the bladder area”, but not to worry because this is just baby “snuggling in” and this “is not labor”. 

Yay.

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