stars

The only reason I got out of bed this morning was to get my kid to school and then pick her up again this afternoon. Then I collapsed back under the blankets and willed my bed to swallow me whole. While meditation, yoga, therapy, and medication have dramatically decreased the frequency of the “episodes” I have, there are some days when even those things are … Continue reading stars

stress and therapists who text

Today was super stressful. Lots to do and my head just wasn’t in it. My brain was not working at all and I was struggling with concepts that should have been relatively simple. My boss probably thinks I’m a total doofus. Oh well. I powered through anyway and managed to get all the things done that were required. Small victories. Hopefully I didn’t screw anything … Continue reading stress and therapists who text

various thoughts at 3 am

Emotional rollercoaster today. It’s not something I can explain here. Its just…all the things. Bleh. Life is weird. As mentioned in the title, it’s an ungodly hour and momma is up pacing, nervous as a cat. #1stdayofkindgergarten Last day of daycare today for kiddo. Teary pickup. Last long commute home with her. Not so teary, for me anyway as kiddo was in a mood. Probably … Continue reading various thoughts at 3 am

weirdo beardo feardo

Its late. I just woke up feeling a bit panicky. That hasn’t happened in a couple of weeks. Nothing I can’t handle, just, feelings. The phrase “fake it till ya make it” popped into my head. True words. Watched a few clips from Amelie because I’m weird like that and there’s something soothing to me about listening to someone speak French regardless of what they’re … Continue reading weirdo beardo feardo

sleep trumps most everything

No workout or run last night and I’m ok with that. I intended to but instead fell asleep with kiddo around 9:00. Got up once to move to my own bed and slept till 6:00. This is unusual and qualifies as a restful night for me. I’ll take it. Tonight however…it’s on like Donkey Kong. I’m going to redo my bad run from Sunday. I … Continue reading sleep trumps most everything

you know that feeling when you know you should go to bed because its really late but you don’t want to because your mind is whirling and you can’t shut your brain off, plus you’re not really sleepy and are just in that dreamy state of mind where random bizarre thoughts pop into your head and you are really considering driving to the airport and … Continue reading

the day

Today was nice. We had our first parent-teacher conference ever. Who knew they do those for day care? Turns out, my kid is smart, sweet and socially adept. As if I didn’t already know that but its nice to hear it confirmed by an outside party. Then I picked up The Mayor and we headed to lunch and a viewing of The Hunger Games. A … Continue reading the day

sad panda goes to the doctor

Verdict: gained 10 pounds in a matter of weeks, change in meds, follow-up visit in a month, encouraged to seek therapy. Hello mid-life crisis. The next one that comes around I’m just going to buy a red sports car and be done with it. It sucks to know that the real you is so broken and messed up that it takes outside assistance to right … Continue reading sad panda goes to the doctor

these legs don’t sleep, they party

Like nursing home residents party. As in with leg cramps, aches, stiffness and joint pain. Yes, I’m up at 2 am with the new initiative, “Candy for Pee” (more on that another time, lets just call it an incentive program for nighttime potty training for now shall we?) and my soon to be 36 year old aching gams. I’m going to just pretend that it’s … Continue reading these legs don’t sleep, they party