This was originally published on Girl Go Glow, but I wanted it to live here, too. The timing is right to post it tonight. I let my meds lapse and have been trying to hold it together mentally for the past couple of weeks until I can get back to the doctor on Tuesday for a new prescription. I did what you should never do … Continue reading Sometimes I’m Sad Panda
My latest therapy session was a good one. We spent a lot of time talking about simply wanting to feel better and using that as motivation rather than relying on a number on the scale or the size of my pants to dictate my mood. I’m feeling all of my 42 years plus about 10 more these days. I shouldn’t struggle so much to get … Continue reading Therapy: On Feeling Better
Today was super stressful. Lots to do and my head just wasn’t in it. My brain was not working at all and I was struggling with concepts that should have been relatively simple. My boss probably thinks I’m a total doofus. Oh well. I powered through anyway and managed to get all the things done that were required. Small victories. Hopefully I didn’t screw anything … Continue reading stress and therapists who text
I got 21 miles in this morning on Trekster. It felt amazing. Perfect weather, perfect scenery. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was my sore tailbone but that’s a small price to pay for cheap therapy. Speaking of therapy (am I awesome at segues or what?), mine went well the other day. I’m feeling better after, as well as thanks to some great friends I’ve … Continue reading Long morning ride
I wonder if those who’ve passed on can watch us, the ones left here. Are they shocked at the difference in someone they knew in life because they can now see how they really are in death? Can my grandma see me? And not just see me, but know what I’m feeling and thinking? Can she see my inexplicable sadness these past couple of weeks? … Continue reading in which i am a major downer
I was reading something the other day that stuck in my brain and made me want to “write it out”. What’s that saying about never letting anyone determine your self worth? Something like that. I make mistakes. Sometimes the same ones repeatedly. And there are times that I feel like I have imparted grace to others in multiple instances but don’t get that same consideration … Continue reading funny and serious
“Your guilt-meter is so jacked up”….actually said to me by my shrink today. She pulls no punches and I love that. We talked about guilt, which seems to be a theme in my life. I am full of “shoulds”…I should feel this way, I should act that way, I should believe such and such, I should do this, I shouldn’t do that…and when I don’t … Continue reading guilt, uselessness, and two kinds of bikes
Cushy red couch, box of tissues, tears streaming down my face for the better part of an hour. This is hard, brutal. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that seeing a therapist is for the weak. Continue reading red couch
…of the head. Therapy of the mental sort continues once or twice a month. I just got back from today’s session. I started about a year ago this April. It has been both helpful and confusing and disturbing and unsettling and amazing. The benefits and enlightenment that comes from being able to talk to a neutral party about anything without fear of judgement, being the … Continue reading shrinkage…
I’m up entirely too late but that seems to be my pattern lately. I fell asleep on kiddo’s floor for an hour or so earlier but it doesn’t feel like I got any snoozage at all. And, hello sore hips. Let’s see…what happened today besides the torturous beeping…which finally stopped by the way. I think there is some button you have to push on some … Continue reading my day. for lack of a better title.
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