This was originally published on Girl Go Glow, but I wanted it to live here, too. The timing is right to post it tonight. I let my meds lapse and have been trying to hold it together mentally for the past couple of weeks until I can get back to the doctor on Tuesday for... Continue Reading →
Therapy: On Feeling Better
My latest therapy session was a good one. We spent a lot of time talking about simply wanting to feel better and using that as motivation rather than relying on a number on the scale or the size of my pants to dictate my mood. I'm feeling all of my 42 years plus about 10... Continue Reading →
stress and therapists who text
Today was super stressful. Lots to do and my head just wasn't in it. My brain was not working at all and I was struggling with concepts that should have been relatively simple. My boss probably thinks I'm a total doofus. Oh well. I powered through anyway and managed to get all the things done... Continue Reading →
Long morning ride
I got 21 miles in this morning on Trekster. It felt amazing. Perfect weather, perfect scenery. The only thing that wasn't perfect was my sore tailbone but that's a small price to pay for cheap therapy. Speaking of therapy (am I awesome at segues or what?), mine went well the other day. I'm feeling better... Continue Reading →
in which i am a major downer
I wonder if those who've passed on can watch us, the ones left here. Are they shocked at the difference in someone they knew in life because they can now see how they really are in death? Can my grandma see me? And not just see me, but know what I'm feeling and thinking? Can... Continue Reading →
funny and serious
I was reading something the other day that stuck in my brain and made me want to "write it out". What's that saying about never letting anyone determine your self worth? Something like that. I make mistakes. Sometimes the same ones repeatedly. And there are times that I feel like I have imparted grace to... Continue Reading →
guilt, uselessness, and two kinds of bikes
"Your guilt-meter is so jacked up"....actually said to me by my shrink today. She pulls no punches and I love that. We talked about guilt, which seems to be a theme in my life. I am full of "shoulds"...I should feel this way, I should act that way, I should believe such and such, I... Continue Reading →
red couch
Cushy red couch, box of tissues, tears streaming down my face for the better part of an hour. This is hard, brutal. Don't ever let anyone tell you that seeing a therapist is for the weak.
shrinkage…
...of the head. Therapy of the mental sort continues once or twice a month. I just got back from today's session. I started about a year ago this April. It has been both helpful and confusing and disturbing and unsettling and amazing. The benefits and enlightenment that comes from being able to talk to a... Continue Reading →
my day. for lack of a better title.
I'm up entirely too late but that seems to be my pattern lately. I fell asleep on kiddo's floor for an hour or so earlier but it doesn't feel like I got any snoozage at all. And, hello sore hips. Let's see...what happened today besides the torturous beeping...which finally stopped by the way. I think... Continue Reading →