This was originally published on Girl Go Glow, but I wanted it to live here, too. The timing is right to post it tonight. I let my meds lapse and have been trying to hold it together mentally for the past couple of weeks until I can get back to the doctor on Tuesday for... Continue Reading →
The Struggle Bus
I agree with this article, to a point. Why You're Depressed and Not Getting Better I've asked myself this very question many times and yet again over the past few weeks. It's been a very low time. I've missed work because I couldn't get out of bed. I've gotten ready for work and then had... Continue Reading →
yo yo, etc
Good news. I got a killer haircut and color today. Also, I'm back to my normal level of crazy vs. bedridden crazy. The darkness ran its course and is in the background until next time. That's just the nature of it. My entire body is sore though and I feel stiff and creaky. I think... Continue Reading →
stars
The only reason I got out of bed this morning was to get my kid to school and then pick her up again this afternoon. Then I collapsed back under the blankets and willed my bed to swallow me whole. While meditation, yoga, therapy, and medication have dramatically decreased the frequency of the "episodes" I... Continue Reading →
29 and holding. Plus 10.
So, I turned 39 today. I'm trying to feel positive about this and embrace the moment and all that jazz, but Ima keep it real and just say that it kind of sucks. I have a case of the birthday blues and feel pretty stupid and petty about it. And if anyone says "its better... Continue Reading →
being a bear
I saw this via Introverts Are Awesome on Facebook, who got it from peteandbuzz.com. While I haven't felt like a bear lately, I do relate to this in a big way. Plus, it just cracked me up.
Long morning ride
I got 21 miles in this morning on Trekster. It felt amazing. Perfect weather, perfect scenery. The only thing that wasn't perfect was my sore tailbone but that's a small price to pay for cheap therapy. Speaking of therapy (am I awesome at segues or what?), mine went well the other day. I'm feeling better... Continue Reading →
in which i am a major downer
I wonder if those who've passed on can watch us, the ones left here. Are they shocked at the difference in someone they knew in life because they can now see how they really are in death? Can my grandma see me? And not just see me, but know what I'm feeling and thinking? Can... Continue Reading →
brooding thoughts
Today was craptastic on a few levels. I felt like I disappointed someone very dear to me and then I felt belittled by another. I suppose I shouldn't "feel" so much and both of those problems would've been moot, but that's rather alien-esque isn't it? To not feel what you feel because you simply feel... Continue Reading →
my next post will be happy, I promise
A dear friend sent this article to me and I wanted to share. I cried and sniffled through it because that's how I roll. But more than just tear-inducing, I found it to be succinct, powerful, and more than a little refreshing. Finding God in a Little White Pill It occurred to me that I've... Continue Reading →
I just read this in my journal and it made me cry.Its like I need someone's permission to be happy...someone's blessing of sorts. Its so weird. And it makes me angry. Why am I hinging my own happiness on others? Why can't I make my own way, make my OWN happiness? Is it because I'm... Continue Reading →
stupid brain
So "they" say that a person's truer personality comes out when they're drunk/drinking. I agree with that to an extent in that a person's inhibitions are tossed aside and you might be more outwardly honest (and stupid) in many ways. With that in mind, today I wondered about meds, antidepressants specifically. Am I more closely... Continue Reading →
sad panda goes to the doctor
Verdict: gained 10 pounds in a matter of weeks, change in meds, follow-up visit in a month, encouraged to seek therapy. Hello mid-life crisis. The next one that comes around I'm just going to buy a red sports car and be done with it. It sucks to know that the real you is so broken... Continue Reading →
sad panda
That title makes me think of the kid's show/movie, Kung Fu Panda, which we are big fans of in our house. Of all the kiddie shows out there, that one cracks me up and I love it even more than my offspring. Yes, we let our 3.5 year old watch that show. I know I... Continue Reading →